- This weekend, I’m going to tell Becky the three little words that every woman wants to hear.
- I did something this morning with Todd that every woman in America fantasizes about.
- And then..
- It’s a date. I’ll have my driver pick you at 7.
- You’re making a really big mistake.
- Oh, really?
- This is the last mistake I make with you then, okay?
- ‘Cause that’s it. We’re finished. We’re breakin’ up.
- Well, fine. Then it’s over.
- Uh-oh!
- And it just so happens that the blow-dried side of beef and I were gonna have dinner tonight with you.
- Whoa, I’m a jerk.
- I was gonna tell you that I love you.
- I love you too.
- Whoa! That means we’re in love.
- Yes! We’re in Nevada. Let’s get married. Right now. Today.
- I-I don’t know what to say.
- Will you marry me?
- What will happen?
- I don’t know.
- Will you marry me?
- Jesse, this is so..
- – Yes. – Have mercy.
- We gotta get married right now.
- – Wait a minute. Right now? – Yes.
- We’ve declared our love to each other. You said you’d marry me.
- We’re in Nevada. Let’s do it!
- Jesse! Jesse! Hold on a second. I mean this is crazy. I never do things like this.
- I always do things like this. I love this. Here.
- – What? – Sit down. Now we gotta find a place to get married. I need a phone book.
- Here we go. Now, what am I looking for? A place.
- “P.” “PL.”
- There’s no wedding chapels here in Nevada.
- Wedding chapels as in “W.” I promise to be much smarter once we get married.
- I have to get my hair done. I have to find a dress. – A place for the reception. – Here it is.
- “The Ali Baba Hotel And Casino Wedding Chapel.”
- Well, this is perfect, we’ll just get married
- right here in the hotel.
- Okay. Uh, I-I’ve gotta call my mom, dad, Conny, Korky. I better make a list.
- Hello, this is Jesse Katsopolis and I’m madly.. I repeat..
- Madly in love with Rebecca Donaldson.
- And I gotta get married right now.
- Jess, Jess, we’re gonna need, uh, some flowers.
- – Yes. – And we’ve to hire a band.
- Let’s get those little match fix that say “Jesse and Rebecca.”
- I-I’m gonna need at least six months.
- Great! They can take us in an hour.
- – An hour? – Yes.
- Jesse, are you crazy? That’s insane.
- This is magic. This is passion. This is spontaneity.
- Look, we don’t need a big wedding with all kinds of people.
- Rebecca, all that matters is you and me.
- And our pledging our love to each other.
- Well, when you put it that way, it does sound romantic.
- It will be.
- Then after we get married, we’ll throw a big party. We’ll invite all our friends and family
- and a few others that might bring us really nice gifts.
- But until we say “I do” this should be our little secret, okay?
- – Okay. – Alright.
- Oh, Jesse, I can’t believe we’re gonna do this. I feel like I’m flying.
- Well, fasten your seatbelt, babe ‘cause we’re about to take off.
- Come in.
- Why say come in when you really don’t mean it?
- You guys ready to go horseback riding?
- – Uh…yeah, horseback..? – No…we…no.
- We, uh, we can’t go horseback riding because we….what?
- We’re, uh, we’re gonna run some emergency errands.
- Emergency errands.
- Are you guys hiding something?
- “Are you guys hiding something?”
- I don’t get it.
- Well, I-I have an idea.
- Uh, why don’t you call your dad and see if he can go horseback riding with you.
- – Stay right here. – Use my phone.
- – Have fun. – That’s right. Have fun.
- See you later, girls.
- They’re up to something.
- Steph, we have a mystery to solve.
- Let’s be detectives.
- – Like Simon and Simon. – Okay.
- But I get to be Simon.
- Come on, baby. Show me some similar fruit.
- Oh, fruit cocktail.
- Uh, pardon me. Are you finished with that machine?
- See, I have a system. I play a row at a time and you are in my row.
- Sorry, but I can’t leave this machine.
- This morning I walked away from one and the next pull won the $100,000 jackpot.
- Oh, yeah.
- The whole casino has been buzzing about you.
- You’re known as the “Jackpot Jerk.”
- Hey, it’s “Joey, the Jackpot Jerk.
- – Nice to meet you. – I’m Shirley.
- See this quarter? I’m saving it for the minute you leave that machine.
- I have a whole bucket of quarters that are gonna make me a winner.
- Well, I have waited out three husbands. And I can wait out you, honey.
- – Hey, Joey. – Hi, Danny.
- Michelle, what are you all dressed up for?
- Her prom.
- No, I’m gonna teach Michelle to swim like a fish.
- Are you ready to be a little fishy?
- Big fishy.
- Don’t make me call security.
- Come on, daddy, swim.
- (Danny) ‘Wait, Michelle, you’re heading for the buffet.’
- Sweetie, somebody might mistake you for a jumbo shrimp.
- Mr. Katsopolis.
- Doesn’t anybody shake hands anymore?
- I am just so excited for you.
- On behalf of the management of the fabulous Ali Baba Hotel and Casino and Wedding Chapel–
- Hey, hold it, I’m trying to keep this a secret, so we gotta..
- Oh-h, by the way, do you have a wedding ring?
- Because we have a fabulous jewelry store here at the–
- Save it. I’ve been there already.
- Fabulous!
- Alright, I gotta get back to Becky. – I’ll see you. – Okay.
- It’s so strange, I feel like I’m being watched.
- You’re getting married. Get used to it.
- – See you at 2. – Okay.
- Ah-a! Our very first clue.
- Ah-a! But it’s an empty bag.
- Ah-a. But it’s from a jewelry store.
- There goes Becky. Let’s follow her.
- Well, that’s it. That’s my last quarter.
- It’s your machine.
- How could I lose?
- Well, it’s simple, Shirley, you see..
- …you thought I spent my last quarter.. …but I didn’t.
- Yes! Oh, baby, the curse is broken. A $5 jackpot.
- And I am even.
- Shirley, the key to responsible gambling is knowing when to walk away.
- $25!
- Oh, baby. Oh, baby.
- Hi, Becky.
- Imagine us running into you here.
- How did your secret errands go?
- Uh, well, they weren’t secret errands.
- There were, uh, boring errands.
- In fact, I can’t even remember where I went or..
- …why I’m holding this bag.
- Becky, I just talked.. Hi, girls.
- Uh, Jess, why don’t you talk to me out in the hallway where the, uh, light is better?
- That’s right, the light is better. Uh, makes sense.
- Quick, Steph, search the room.
- Becky bought a new fancy dress.
- And a blue..
- …head band.
- Steph, look at this. They drew a heart around the Ali Baba Wedding Chapel.
- Uncle Jesse and Becky are getting married.
- We solved the mystery.
- Yay! We won! We won!
- Uncle Jesse and Becky are getting married?
- (Becky) ‘Girls, let us in.’
- Uh, don’t tell Uncle Jesse and Becky we know.
- Uh, get the blue head band off. Go. Go. Quick.
- Go, hurry, hurry!
- – What’s going on here? – Uh, nothing.
- The wind must have blew the door shut.
- And locked it.
- You think those two are up to something?
- Uncle Jesse and Becky are getting married.
- Shh! I don’t know why but they don’t want us to know about it. So we gotta keep this a secret.
- Me keep this a secret?
- Do you know who you’re talking to?
- – Hey, we’re back. – Hi, chicks.
- Hey, Michelle, how did you like swimming in Lake Tahoe?
- Was too cold! Brrr!
- So, girls, where’s your Uncle Jess?
- Uh, Uncle Jesse?
- Never heard of him.
- – Somebody has a secret. – Unh-unh.
- Let’s see, if we wanna get information outta these two girls, I think we ought to speak to..
- Stephanie.
- Okay. Come on, honey. You were born to blab.
- Come on. You know you’re dying to tell somebody.
- – Mm-mmm. – Aw, Steph, come on. There’s nothing more fun than blabbing a big juicy secret.
- – Well.. – Fight it, Steph. Fight it!
- Spill those secret beans.
- Pardon me one moment.
- Jesse’s getting married?
- Jesse’s getting married?
- Blabbermouth.
- What makes you think that Jesse’s getting married?
- Uncle Jesse bought something at a jewelry store.
- Becky bought a new dress.
- And look, the biggest clue of all.
- There’s a heart around the Ali Baba Wedding Chapel.
- It does say 2 o’clock right here. This is Jesse’s handwriting.
- Looks to me like Jesse and Becky are eloping.
- Yeah, well, not if I can help it.
- If those two run off and get married like this it’ll be the biggest mistake of their lives.
- We get five minutes to put a stop this wedding.
- Jesse’s getting married.
- I’ve gotta stop Jesse and Becky from eloping.
- Danny, wait a minute. You and Pam ran off and got married.
- Yeah, and both of our families went crazy. My mom cried for a month.
- And I’m sure Jesse’s forgetting how he felt.
- He was only 13, but he was very upset. He tried to beat me up.
- Danny, he did beat you up.
- Yeah, well, if you call a fractured rib beat up.
- Do you know what you’re doing? Do you know what you’re wearing?
- Come on! Let’s go.
- – I’m with her. – Follow Michelle.
- When did Michelle take over?
- By the power vested in me, by the fabulous state of Nevada
- I now pronounce you husband and–
- Stop! You’re making a horrible mistake.
- I fell like a total idiot.
- Well, you know what they say. Clothes make the man.
- Thank you very much. Have a happy life together.
- If you hurry you can have your parking validated at the front desk.
- – What’re you guys doing here? – Jesse, don’t do this.
- I’m trying to save you from making the same mistake that I made.
- Don’t you remember how angry you were when you found out that I was eloping with your sister?
- Yeah, I beat you up. And I may do it again.
- We were gonna tell all of you tonight and then throw a big party for our family and friends when we get home. Yeah.
- I don’t mean to rush everybody but the Coplemans have the chapel in 15 minutes.
- – Make that 12. – Alright.
- – We better get going. – Look…I’m sorry.
- I just had to get that off my chest.
- I want you both to know that I love you very much and I wish you nothing but happiness.
- Thank you, Danny.
- Come on, the Coplemans are breathing down your neck. – Get married already. – Alright.
- You guys are all here, I want you to stay. – This is my wedding day. – Alright.
- How would you girls like to be my bridesmaids?
- I want you two boys to be my best man.. – Best men. – Yeah.
- Now it’s a good thing I wore my formal Cabana suit.
- Folks, all this chit-chat is cutting into your 12 minutes which is now 8.
- Princess, you’re going to be our little flower girl.
- Music.
- (Santana) ‘Places everybody, places.’
- – This is it. – I guess so.
- – I love you. – I love you too.
- Dearly beloved..
- …we are gathered here at the fabulous..
- Ali Baba Hotel and Casino Wedding Chapel
- to share with these two people
- their commitment to journey together where ever life’s roads may take them.
- Where are you going?
- Oh, we’re gonna stay right here in San Francisco, honey.
- It just means that we’ll always be together. Go ahead.
- – Thanks. – Woah, wait a minute.
- Uh, what if I get a better job offer in New York? I mean, then we’d have to move.
- Excuse us one second.
- Come here.
- What do you mean New York? What’re you talking about?
- Well, it’s just hypothetical. I mean, it could be Los Angeles, Chicago, anywhere.
- I just meant wherever life’s journey takes me we go together.
- Well, what’s the matter with San Francisco? My family lives there. My band, my advertising career.
- Five minutes. No pressure.
- We’ll talk about it in the honeymoon, okay, sweetheart?
- – Come on. – Hurry up, people. Hurry up.
- Today you begin your first day together as a family.
- May your marriage be blessed with many many children.
- And soon.
- Oh, well, not too soon.
- What is not too soon mean to you?
- Well, I don’t know. Five, ten years?
- In five or ten years I thought we’d have five or ten kids.
- [laughs] Excuse us. We’ll be right back.
- Ten kids?
- What?
- Jesse, I have a lot of things to do in my career before I have children.
- Yes, but you’re so good with kids. You’re gonna make such a great mother.
- Yes, when I’m ready.
- Don’t I have anything to say about this?
- Jess, I think that we both have a lot to say about this.
- Two minute warning. Move it, people.
- Oh, well, say it after we say “I do.” Come on.
- [sighs] Let’s cut right to the chase.
- Do you, Jesse Katsopolis, take Rebecca Donaldson to be your lawfully wedded wife for better or for worse etcetera, etcetera, till death do you apart, say “I do.”
- I do.
- (Santana) ‘Do you, Rebecca Donaldson, take Jesse Katsopolis’ to be lawfully wedded husband for better or for worse
- in sickness and health, etcetera, etcetera till death do you part, say “I do.”
- I..
- I..
- I think I need more time to think this over.
- Think fast. You have 45 seconds until the Copleman wedding.
- – Becky.. – I’m sorry, Jesse.
- I can’t go through with this.
- I do.
- (Becky) ‘Jess, it’s Becky. Can I talk to you?’
- Hold on a sec.
- Hang on.
- Yeah, come on in.
- Crystal, yeah, free man now.
- Saturday night? Oh, yeah. Sounds great. Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it.
- Yeah, sorry, Crystal, gotta go. Got another call. Bye, Crys.
- Hey, Beck. How you doin’, babe? Good to see you. How’s it shaking?
- Oh, Jess, you don’t have to put on this act.
- Are you saying this smile isn’t sincere, huh? Heh?
- Jess, I’m really sorry about what happened.
- – I didn’t wanna hurt you. – Oh, please. You hurt me?
- Come on, man. You’re talkin’ to Jesse Katsopolis.
- I’m a fighter, man. I get knocked down, boom. – I’m right back up again– – Jesse..
- How could you do this to me?
- I mean, when you turned and walked out on me like that it killed me.
- I’m sorry. It’s just that..
- I needed time to think. I mean, everything was happening so fast.
- Oh, what’s the matter with things happening fast?
- Jesse, can you honestly tell me that you were ready
- to get married, move into my place, have children turn your whole life upside down?
- Yes, I was. That’s the way I do things. I see something, I commit to it and I go for it.
- Jesse, we didn’t even think it through. You know when we were walking up the isle and down the isle
- and…up the isle and down the isle we discovered that we had some pretty big differences.
- You know what.. You’re right. Thanks for..
- Thank you, I’m glad we found this out.
- You-you saved us from making a horrible mistake.
- – Thanks very much. – Jesse!
- Listen to yourself.
- Why does everything have to be all or nothing?
- Yes, we learned that we have some differences that we need to work out.
- But we also learned that we have something in common.
- Like what?
- Like we love each other.
- You still love me?
- Hey, I almost married you at the fabulous Ali Baba Hotel and Casino Wedding Chapel.
- Now, that is love, babe.
- Oh, my god. We almost got married.
- It’s just that, I was so excited that you finally said you love me.
- I don’t know, it was such a wonderful feeling. I didn’t want it to end so I proposed.
- I just didn’t think about the next day or the days after.
- I don’t know…why’d you say “yes” anyway? Are you crazy?
- I’m crazy about you.
- Right back at you, babe.
- So, can we keep getting to know each other?
- Yes, yes.
- Because when I get married, I want it to last forever.
- You okay, Jesse?
- Aw-w, yes, I’m okay.
- You guys can come in now. You didn’t have to send the munchkin spy.
- Well, we were just in the girls’ room and..
- Waiting for the right time to send Michelle in.
- Mm-hmm. Well, You guys don’t have to worry. Everything’s okay. We’re not getting married.
- But we’re still in lo-ove.
- Alright, so let’s celebrate, huh?
- Put a little music on, yeah.
- Oh, I’m glad it worked out. That’s nice.
- Oh, now there’s happy song.
- Hey, the Tanners can make anything happy.
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