- We better fix it.
- Get my nose, ready?
- [honking] Yeah, you got my nose. You gonna get my nose?
- [honking] Very good.
- Guys, you’re missing the best one.
- Charge! I love that one.
- I’ve come up with 20 slogans for the stay-in-school campaign and they’re all lame.
- Hold on, I’m takin’ a personality test.
- I’m this close to having a personality.
- Kimmy.
- Okay, you want a stay-in-school slogan?
- How about this one?
- Be smart and get your schooling or you’ll be living on a couch, burping and drooling.
- Hey. Hey, guys. Hold on.
- ‘I’m really glad you’re home.’ ‘We’ve been working on this campaign..’
- Well, I’ve been working on this campaign for the sophomore class
- ‘and since all the kids listens to you on the radio’ we thought, you guys will be perfect spokesmen.
- Spokesmen, huh? I guess that means I can date spokesmodels.
- Hey, Deej, we’re there for you.
- Hey, what exactly are we spokesmen for?
- It’s a stay-in-school campaign.
- That’s pretty cool. Good cause, huh, Jesse?
- Yeah, that’s, uh, that’s a real nice cause, um, but, uh
- I’m sorry, I can’t, I can’t help you out with that one.
- Well, why not?
- I just have too many things going. A lot of projects.
- (Joey) ‘Really?’
- Like what?
- I have to paint the house.
- The house was just painted.
- Oh, yeah. And it looks great, too.
- Uh, no, actually, I have to paint the driveway. That’s what I have to paint..
- The driveway doesn’t go with the curb at all. It’s a whole clashing thing.
- Girls, I’m sorry. I don’t know what the heck’s going on with him.
- – That was really weird. – Yeah.
- I thought your driveway went great with your curb.
- Girls, dinner’s ready.
- Great. I’m starved.
- Stop. You forgot.
- Somebody has to tie my shoe.
- Michelle, I tied your shoe at breakfast on the way to school
- on the way back from school and twice, since we’ve been home.
- Well, then you’re not doing a very good job.
- Michelle. Excuse me, Steph.
- You know what, I think, it’s time to teach you the shoelace tying song.
- Come over here and watch closely what I do. I’m excellent at this, okay?
- Here we go, It goes like this.
- ♪ Over under around the tree.. ♪♪
- Dad, it’s not over, under. It’s under, over.
- ♪ Under, over, around the tree.. ♪♪
- That’s a beautiful rendition, honey, but I’m positive that it’s over, then under.
- Dad, you’ve been wearing loafers too long. It’s definitely under, then over.
- Sweetheart, I’ve been tying shoes for 30 years.
- Maybe you’ve been doing it wrong for 30 years.
- Aunt Becky. How did you learn to tie your shoe?
- Oh, my parents taught me little a song.
- I hope there’s not a tree in it.
- No, but there’s a cute little bunny.
- Here. Hold your shoe up.
- Goes like this.
- ♪ Bunny boy bunny boy ♪ ♪ Around the ear to there ♪
- ♪ Step inside the bunny hole ♪ ♪ And I’ll show you a pair ♪♪
- See?
- Kinda.
- Okay, Michelle, we’ve been working on it, and we’ve got it.
- – Okay, Steph, hit it. – Okay.
- ♪ Over or under ♪ ♪ Around the tree ♪
- ♪ Swing past the knothole ♪ ♪ Pull and see ♪♪
- No wonder she can’t tie her shoe.
- Luckily, I just taught her “Bunny Boy Bunny Boy.”
- “Bunny Boy Bunny Boy?”
- This is very complicated.
- Have you guys seen Jess?
- He’s been acting so strange. He just backed out of our stay-in-school campaign
- with some weird excuse about having to painting the driveway.
- Actually, it’s not a bad idea. It never did match the curb.
- I can’t believe that Jesse won’t help.
- – Hey, everybody. – Hey.
- We gonna eat or what?
- Well, honey, we’re just concerned. It would mean a lot to D.J. if you help out with her stay-in-school project?
- What’s the matter with people? I-I told you I’m busy. If I’m busy, I’m busy, that’s all.
- Painting the driveway?
- Got something against home improvement?
- You know, uh, it really is a good cause.
- I’m sure it is.
- There’s gotta be a way out of here.
- Uncle Jesse, you know, at my school one kid drops out every week.
- So, go talk to him and stop bugging me about it.
- No, you aren’t leaving here until we get a straight answer.
- Now, why won’t you help D.J. with her campaign?
- Alright, you wanna know why I can’t help D.J. with the campaign?
- I can’t help with your stay-in-school campaign because I didn’t stay in school.
- – What? – What?
- I’m a dropout.
- There. Let’s just, uh, move on with our lives, okay?
- You heard the man. Let’s move on with our lives.
- Hello, my cute little sons. Hello?
- Hello?
- Hello? Hey, listen, it’s time for you guys to go to bed.
- It’s time for you guys to go to bed now, okay? Bye.
- Bye-bye. Bye.
- Hey, listen, guys, uh..
- Before it hits the streets I might as well tell you. Your old man’s a high school dropout.
- Ah, who needs a diploma anyway, right?
- I mean, does that put food on your, on your plate
- and diapers on your little tushies?
- ‘I don’t think so.’
- You’re old man’s doing okay, huh?
- I mean, granted, I’m no Albert Einstein but, who’d wanna be with that hair.
- Bucket of mousse couldn’t tame that head.
- What’s really important to me is.. …is what you guys thinkin’.
- I’m guessin’ you love me with or without a diploma, huh?
- Can I have a kiss?
- You dad have a little kiss? Have a little one?
- You, too? Aww.
- Shh. Goodnight.
- Good night, munchkins.
- – So, Jesse– – Oh.
- Anything you care to talk about?
- Can’t think of a thing, Beck.
- Jess, I can’t believe you never told anyone you didn’t graduate high school.
- Just didn’t come up in conversation over the past 11 years.
- Oh, no, you don’t. You are not getting away with that again.
- Honey, you and I are best friends. We tell each other everything.
- Won’t you please tell me what happened?
- I just.. I’m embarrassed about this, it..
- It was my senior year.
- I don’t know, I was just playing a lot of shows with my band I just got this new motorcycle..
- I don’t know, it was just more fun than going to English class with Mr. Pearson.
- Used to start each class with
- “Read any good books lately?”
- – No. – Yeah. – He said that? – Yeah.
- This guy was a killer and..
- You know, he made us memorize this poem “Oh, Captain, My Captain.”
- And when I got up to recite it the guy just tore me to shreds because I, because I forgot a few words.
- How many words?
- Everything after “Oh, captain, my captain.”
- The point is, that he really made me look like an idiot and all the kids were laughing at me.
- I just, I asked asked if I could go to the bathroom and I-I never came back.
- Honey, you’re only missing one class. You could go back and make that up.
- Oh, yeah. [scoffs] What am I gonna say? I got locked in the stall and just now got out?
- Sweetheart, what are you going to tell Nicky and Alex? What if one day they wanna drop out of school?
- Well, I just talked to them about it. They’re totally cool.
- How about you? Are you totally cool?
- I could be cooler. I’m not proud of being a dropout.
- So drop back in.
- Ah, it’s too late and I’m too old.
- – You’re right. You can’t do it. – I could do it.
- – If I wanted to, I could do it. – Well, then do it.
- I just wanna make my own decisions, that’s all.
- Well, then, make a decision. What do you want?
- – I want that diploma. – Then go get it.
- – Then, I’m gonna get it. – Alright, honey.
- I am so proud of you.
- This was my decision, wasn’t it?
- – Oh, of course, sweetheart. – Yeah. Right.
- – Yeah. – Okay. See ya. I’m going back to school.
- I’m going back to school.
- Joey, I think your end’s a little low.
- Really? I’ve been working out with my heinie-master.
- Just raise the banner.
- – Hi. – Hey. has you uncle Jesse left for night school yet?
- No, he’s still upstairs. He wants his hair to be perfect. He’s been doing it since six o’clock.
- For an hour?
- Since six o’clock this morning.
- I got it!
- ♪ Over under around the tree ♪
- ♪ Swing past the knothole ♪ ♪ Pull and see ♪♪
- That’s fantastic.
- Wow, all that practicing really paid off. Now, let me see you tie your shoe.
- My shoe? I just learned the song.
- Here, squirt, let me show you the Gibbler way to tie your shoe.
- Gibbler, put that shoe on before you set off the smoke alarm.
- Okay, everybody. Here he is. America’s newest high school student.
- America’s oldest high school student.
- Kimmy, even you can’t get to me today. I’m in such a great mood. I’m so excited about going back to school.
- I even stayed up all night, memorizin’ this poem “Oh, Captain, My Captain.”
- Yeah. Hey. Is that from “Star Trek” one or two?
- I think it’s from two, Steve.
- [imitating Scotty] Oh, captain, my captain. She’s breakin’ up, I’ve got to hit more power.
- For your information it’s by a guy named Walt Whitman one of America’s finest poets.
- Steve and I got you this thesaurus.
- Well, actually, D.J. picked it out
- and D.J. paid for it but, I drove her to the mall.
- Jesse, we’re all really proud of you. It takes a lot of guts to do what you’re doin’.
- Yeah, goin’ back to school.
- No, being late for your first class.
- Better get going.
- Hey, thanks, guys, for everything. and, uh, see you after school.
- Watch out for the big kids at recess.
- Good luck.
- Front row.
- Pretty good seats. Didn’t even have to pay a scalper.
- Hey. Hey, man. I know you.
- You’re Jesse from Jesse And The Rippers?
- Oh. Yeah. Nice to see you.
- Listen, listen I’m here to get my diploma. So, uh, let’s not make a big deal out of it, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay, make a big deal out of it.
- Hey, man, you play at the Smash Club. You did like a real cool kick while playing the keyboard.
- Oh, yeah, that’s my Bruce Lee meets Liberace thing, I do.
- Yeah, like this, right?
- No, no. I said Bruce Lee not Sara Lee.
- It goes more like this, you get the piano goin’ and then you do a slide like that.
- But, you gotta get at fever pitch, once you get fever pitch, then you slide like this and sometimes
- you go back and sometimes you go and up and back and slide again
- and go and slide again and go and slide..
- Read any good books lately?
- Mr. Pearson.
- Jesse Katsopolis?
- Wasn’t it 10 years ago I gave you a pass to the bathroom?
- Yes. Yes, it was.
- Uh, they were out of toilet paper so I figured, what the heck, I’ll quit school.
- I’m gonna, I’m gonna sit down now.
- You’re starting this class a week after the others. I suggest you pay extra attention.
- Oh, no, no, no. Hey, I’m a new man, sir.
- No more screwin’ off. I’m here to kick butt.
- I see your English is still as gentile and elegant as that of a Viking.
- Thank you, sir.
- Now, let’s move on from the ridiculous to the sublime
- and continue our discussion of “The Red Badge Of Courage.”
- “The Red Badge Of Coo-rege.”
- Stephen Crane published this narrative in 1895.
- Excuse me, sir, now do we need to know dates for tests?
- There are no tests.
- Only examinations of a mind in the form of essays, and yes, you will need to know dates.
- Could’ve just said yes or no.
- Mr. Katsopolis, are you going to be a miscreant all your life?
- I don’t know.
- Let’s see, miscreant, miscreant.
- Miscreant. No, sir, no.
- I’m not going to be a troublemaker, a rabble-rouser
- ne’er-do-well, or knave.
- I don’t know why you’re here, Mr. Katsopolis.
- But, since you’ve presented me with the challenge of teaching you once again
- I suggest that you open your mind.. …and shut your yap.
- In this class, you’ll read four novels. You’ll do an oral presentation
- as well as an in-depth analysis
- fifteen pages, single-spaced
- of your favorite American author.. …should you know one.
- For your information, sir, I do know one. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Walter Whitman.
- I’d like to do a poem right now if I may. It goes something like this. Ahem.
- Oh, captain, my captain our fearful trip is done.
- The ship has weathered every rack
- the prize we sought is won.
- I am impressed, Mr. Katsopolis.
- Why, thank you, Mr. Pearson.
- Would you mind, tell the class what it means?
- Okay. Okay, I’ll tell you.
- Uh, it’s about this, um, this captain
- and about his fearful trip and it was done, it was finished.
- And they got out of the rack and they won a prize, they all won prizes.
- Actually, Mr. Katsopolis, this poem is about Abraham Lincoln.
- No, why didn’t they call it Oh, Lincoln, My Lincoln?
- I suggest you sit down, Mr. Katsopolis
- very slowly, so you won’t injure your brain.
- Sir, you mind if I go to the bathroom?
- It’s right where you left it.
- See you in ten years.
- Hi, daddy.
- Hey, sweetheart. Come here.
- How’s your shoe tying coming along?
- Piece of cake.
- What the heck is that glob of pink stuff on your shoe?
- Piece of bubble gum.
- Sweetheart, why’d you tie your shoe with bubble gum?
- The Play-Doh didn’t stick.
- Michelle, I know how hard you’ve been trying to learn how to ties your shoe but, bubble gum can get pretty messy.
- I’ll keep trying. Where’s the stapler?
- Forget about the stapler. The only way you’re gonna learn how to tie your shoe is just to keep practicing.
- Okay.
- Practice, practice, practice.
- Hey, could you guys help us out please?
- These two can’t decide on a slogan. They’re arguing so much, I can’t hear myself chew.
- Why don’t we put it to a vote?
- And please, be fair. Don’t let me influence you in any way.
- You can’t buy my vote but you can rent it for an hour.
- Okay, here’s my slogan.
- People who are smart finish what they start. Stay in school.
- – It’s very good, Deej. – Yeah.
- And now the second choice, the only choice.
- Stay in school. Don’t be an idiot.
- Don’t drop out even if you have to
- glue your butt to a chair.
- Catchy.
- Okay, it’s voting time. What do you think?
- – D.J. – Deej.
- – D.J. – D.J.
- Kimmy.
- – Steve. – What?
- I like that gluing your butt part.
- Hey, sweetheart, you’re back early. – How did it go? – Here.
- Give these to Nicky and Alex, they can color them.
- I’m guessing, it didn’t go very well?
- You guessed right.
- What about the campaign?
- You better find yourself another stay-in-school poster boy. I quit.
- What’s goin’ on, munchkin. You’re throwing out all your shoes?
- Only the ones with the laces.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. Hold it. Now, come here.
- I know you’re, uh having a little trouble with the shoe tying thing
- but, don’t you think you’re bein’ a little hasty?
- No, ‘cause I don’t know what hasty means.
- That mean, you gotta think things out first. I mean, if you throw out all your shoes what are you gonna wear on your feet?
- Sandals, slippers, anything with Velcro.
- Oh, Michelle, you don’t wanna be a quitter. You don’t feel good about yourself. I mean, quitting is for losers.
- Don’t wanna let yourself down and all the people who care about you.
- Everything I’m saying to you I should be saying to myself.
- Old buddy, I, uh.. Quit school tonight.
- Again?
- Yes, again.
- What did you do that for?
- Well, school just turned out be a lot harder than I thought just like tying your shoes was harder than you thought.
- Tell me about it.
- If you can quit, I can quit.
- Come on, Michelle, don’t you wanna learn how to tie your shoes?
- Don’t you wanna finish school?
- Yes, I do.
- I tell you what let’s make a deal, huh?
- Okay, it’s a deal.
- I haven’t even told you the deal yet.
- Alright, this is the deal, I’ll go back to night school if you learn how to tie your shoes.
- ‘Cause in the end, we’ll feel really good about ourselves ‘cause we worked so hard.
- What do you say?
- Okay, is it a deal now?
- Now it’s a deal. Let’s shake on it.
- Jesse, we just had a family meeting..
- and we’ve decided that we’re not gonna let you quit.
- Yeah, you might hate our guts for this.
- You might kick and scream.
- But, it’s only because we love you.
- Okay. You guys win.
- I’m going back to night school.
- You know, it is, I think he knew that I really meant business.
- Yeah, I wasn’t taking no for an answer.
- I’m glad we played hardball.
- We’re so good, we’re bad.
- ♪ Under ♪
- ♪ Over ♪
- ♪ Around the tree ♪
- ♪ Swing past the knothole ♪ ♪ Pull and see ♪♪
- ♪ Bunny boy bunny boy ♪ ♪ Around the ear to there.. ♪♪
- ひもを結べなくて イラついてんだろうが―
- 早急すぎるぞ
- “ソウキュウ”って 何のこと？
- よく考えろってことだ これから何を履く？
- サンダルとか マジックテープのとか
- 簡単にあきらめるのは 負け犬のすることだぞ
- 家族だって がっかりする
- これは俺自身にも 言えることだ
- さっき 学校をやめてきたんだ
- また？
- そうだよ
- どうして やめたの？
- お前の靴ひもと同じで 意外と難しかった
- よく分かるよ
- じゃ 一緒にやめよう
- 結べなくていいのか？
- 卒業しなくていいの？
- したいよ
- 俺と取り引きしよう
- 取り引き成立よ
- 中身を聞け
- ひもを結ぶ練習をするなら 俺は学校に戻る
- お互い やり遂げれば 気分がいいぞ
- どうだ？
- 分かった 約束ね
- 約束だ シェイクしよう
- 家族会議を開いたの
- 学校はやめさせないよ
- 問答無用だ
- 逃がさないわ
- おじさんのためよ
- 分かった お前らの勝ちだ
- 学校に戻る
- 僕の本気が通じたんだ
- ねじ伏せてやった
- 厳しくいかなきゃ
- 迫力勝ちね
- 下から―
- 上へ
- 木をぐるり
- 穴から引っ張れ ほらできた
- ウサちゃんの耳を ぐるっと回り…
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