- Michelle-chelle-chelle, the babe-babe-babe
- Tanner-ner-ner.
- Thank you, very much.
- She steps up to the plate… and digs in.
- ‘Swings.’
- Whoa, it’s a hit.
- Run to first base.
- Whoa, she’s headed for third.
- And she’s gonna be safe because she’s fielding her own hit.
- She’s headed for first, she’s headed for first.
- ‘Whoa, she’s turning a triple into a single.’
- ‘You don’t see that very often.’
- Oh, she’s headed for second. She’s stealing second.
- Head home, Michelle. Head home.
- She’s really headed for home.
- I’m home.
- This game is way too easy.
- What are you doing, Baby Ruth? Kiss and hug.
- ♪ Blame it on the rain ♪ ♪ Yeah yeah ♪♪
- ♪ Rain rain go away ♪
- ♪ Come again another day ♪
- ♪ Yeah yeah ♪♪
- Great news, people.
- In case anyone wants to play with me I still have 20 minutes before dance class.
- Can’t you see that I’m doing our homework?
- You know, there’s a country where they use little annoying kids for lunchmeat.
- Then you’d better not go there, because you’re full of baloney.
- Steph, why don’t you go down to the living room and run around the couch about a thousand times?
- I’m getting the feeling I’m not wanted here.
- – Make it 2000 times. – Now, I’m sure of it.
- Listen to this.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Great news, people. I have 18 minutes till dance class. Who wants to play?
- You know, we’d love to, sweetheart. But we’re trying to come up with some interesting things to talk about on tomorrow’s show.
- Talk about my day. So far, it’s been fascinating.
- It all started when I heard the alarm clock and woke up.
- You might wanna take notes.
- And then, I opened my eyes and right in the corner were those little eye crispies.
- Uh, Steph, uh..
- Honey…just a second.
- Sweetie, I know, you tell great stories. And I love the way you put in every last detail.
- Like the shoes that people are wearing or what the weather was like or the color of the paint on the wall.
- What happens is, even the simplest story just goes on and on and on and on.
- Gee, I wonder where she gets that from.
- Uncle Jesse, wait till you hear all about my day.
- I know, you told me. Eye crispies, gross.
- Oh, I haven’t told Joey yet.
- Ya, perfect. Joey loves a good eye-crispy story.
- Becky, what do you say we have a nice, romantic evening tonight?
- I’ll come over to your place cook up a little chicken a la Jesse.
- I’m sorry, sweetie. I can’t make it. I have a business dinner with Beau McIntyre.
- Beau Mc..? Who’s Beau McIntyre?
- Now, Jesse, calm down. There’s no reason to be jealous.
- He’s a guest on tomorrow’s show.
- By the way, Jess, you gotta catch this guy. He’s amazing. He’s only 30 years old, he’s an ex-quarter back
- a neurosurgeon and he was just voted the Bay area’s most eligible bachelor.
- You’re not going.
- Well, I guess my work here is done.
- I really have to get back to the station.
- Yeah, and I have to get ready for my business dinner.
- The one you have no reason to be jealous of.
- Jealous? Me? Come on. Kid being jealous?
- I don’t think so. I’m not jealous.
- Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a long ride until this feeling of not being jealous passes.
- And I’m sitting in class, and the teacher says “Today’s lunch is macaroni surprise.”
- So, I raise my hand and say
- “Excuse me, but when you say it’s macaroni you ruined the surprise.”
- Steph, listen, I-I love hearing your stories but you haven’t said a word about my brand-new used car.
- – Nice. Now, back to my day– – Wait, hold it.
- Steph, this is a 1963 Rambler.
- It’s a classic. It’s in primo condition.
- You know, people say it’s wrong to love a car
- but, I don’t care what people say. I love you, Rosie.
- Oh, no.
- – What’s wrong, Joey? – Nick.
- Okay. What’s wrong, Nick?
- No, there’s a nick in the paint, Steph.
- Look, I’m gonna go down to Sid and Jean’s Auto Supplies and get a little bottle of touch-up paint.
- Comet, you wanna go for a walk?
- Well, I guess, I’ll take that for a yes, huh?
- – I’ll watch Rosie for you. – Thanks, Steph.
- Okay, Comet, now, let’s not say hello to every tree in the neighborhood, okay?
- Bye, Joey.
- Hi, Rosie.
- Better buckle up.
- I need some driving music.
- Whoa. Stay. Stay.
- Good car. Good car.
- Ah, “P, R, N, D.”
- “R,” must mean radio.
- Whoa, Rosie, whoa.
- I’m in the house, and I’m still in the car.
- Oh, my..
- Oh, no. Oh, no.
- Oh, my. What did I do?
- Please be a dream. Please be a dream.
- It’s a nightmare.
- Maybe no one will notice.
- – Hello, Michelle. – There’s a car in the kitchen.
- There is? Oh, there is.
- – Did you see how it got here? – No.
- Good. I’m in the clear.
- Until Joey gets home and tells Dad how he left me alone with the car.
- Then I’m dead meat.
- You got it, dude.
- ♪ Straight up now tell me ♪ ♪ Do you really wanna love me forever ♪
- Hey.
- I said, hey.
- What do you want, squirt?
- Don’t call me “Squirt.”
- May we help you, madam?
- There’s a car in the kitchen.
- Yeah, and there’s a bus in the bathroom.
- Good one, Deej, ha ha ha.
- Steph, why are you packing a bag?
- Well, uh..
- …we’re having a dress rehearsal at dance class.
- And I needed something to rehearse dressing in.
- Oh-oh. Gotta go. That’s my ride.
- Bye, D.J. I’ll always remember you.
- Goodbye, Michelle.
- Best of luck in everything you do.
- See you, Gibbler.
- Kids on the block..
- -Whoa, baby. -Whoa, baby.
- – There’s a car in the kitchen. – I told you so.
- Michelle, do you know how Joey’s car got in here?
- Yes, I do.
- – How? – Through the window.
- Girls, I’m home. Listen, I–
- Have mercy.
- There’s a..
- – There’s.. – There’s a car in the kitchen.
- Thank you.
- How did a car get in the kitchen?
- – Through the window. – Through the window.
- – Everybody okay? – Yeah, we’re all fine.
- (Danny) ‘Hello.’
- But I don’t think dad is gonna be fine.
- Well, alright. We have to break this to him very gently, okay?
- – ‘Hey, where is everybody?’ – In your new garage.
- We’ll be right back. Stall dad.
- Alright, come on, Michelle. Come with me.
- It’ll be a lot harder for him to cry in front of you.
- Hi, guys. How’s it going?
- Oh, fine.
- We’ve had a bang-up day.
- There’s a car in the kitchen.
- Michelle, you’re so silly.
- She’s not that silly.
- Um, there’s, uh, actually something I-I would like to show you in the kitchen.
- Okay, I’m ready. Send him in.
- Oh, this is great.
- I love surprises.
- Let’s see, it’s not Father’s day.
- No.
- Oh, I love this. This must be one of those bonus “I love dad” days.
- I don’t know.
- Good face, dad.
- Is everybody alright? Where’s Stephanie?
- We’re all fine. Stephanie’s at dance class.
- Look at this house.
- Look at this kitchen.
- Look at this mess. I just waxed the floor.
- Where is my best friend, Joey?
- Dad, let me get one more picture of you.
- This is a very serious matter.
- That’s okay, you don’t have to smile.
- – Who is it? – Stephanie Judith Tanner.
- Steph, what are you doing here?
- My carpool dropped me off. I came to say goodbye.
- Goodbye?
- Stephanie, come in here.
- – Where are you going? – I’m moving to Mexico.
- I’m going to start a new life as a Mexican hat dancer.
- Stephanie, you’re not allowed to cross the street how can you cross the border?
- I have no choice. I’m a woman on the run.
- Why?
- Because.. …I can never go home again.
- Steph, why can’t you go home?
- I’m having a little problem.
- Actually, it’s more like a super-giganto dinosaur-size problem.
- Steph, come over here.
- Sit down and tell me what happened.
- It’s too terrible. I can’t even say the words.
- Stephanie, honey, you can tell me anything.
- Okay.
- I dr..
- I dr..
- I dr..
- You dropped something? Did something break?
- – What did you break? – You name it, I broke it.
- (Jesse) ‘Hey, Becky, it’s me.’
- It’s Uncle Jesse, you gotta hide me.
- – Oh, but, Stephanie.. – Just don’t tell him I’m here. Please, please, please.
- – ‘Becky.’ – Uh, coming.
- I heard voices. Who were you talking to?
- Uh, nobody.
- I’m a talk-show host and I was practicing talking.
- You look beautiful. Way too beautiful for a business dinner.
- Oh, those are lovely roses. Are they for me?
- Maybe.
- Well, yeah, I was gonna come over and apologize
- for acting jealous about that McIntyre creep.
- Well, look at this. I’m doing it again.
- I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?
- Of course, I forgive you.
- This was very sweet. Well, thanks for coming by.
- I’ll call you later and tell you all about my boring dinner. Bye.
- Whose suitcase is that?
- Well, it’s-it’s not what you think.
- Someone’s in the closet, isn’t there? Who’s in the closet?
- – What closet? – It’s McIntyre, isn’t..
- McIntyre, come on out. I got your business dinner right here.
- Just as I suspected.
- Nobody’s in here.
- Steph, what are you doing here?
- Just hanging around.
- Come on down. Let’s go.
- Steph has a super-giganto, dinosaur-size problem, Jess.
- Oh, she does, huh?
- Then why don’t you sit down over here and tell Uncle Jesse about it?
- Okay.
- I sort of drove Joey’s car..
- ..into the kitchen.
- You’re the one who drove Joey’s..
- Steph, you can’t even drive.
- You’re telling me.
- No wonder you’re moving to Mexico.
- Take it from a guy who’s been in trouble a lot.
- Now, I know you’re feeling scared
- and you feel like you gotta run. But, let me tell you something.
- The best way to solve this problem is to go home and face the music.
- Was dad really mad when he saw the kitchen?
- Well, you’ll be able to see for yourself when D.J.’s pictures come back from the one-hour photo.
- Come on. Let’s go.
- Hey, Dad, it’s almost dinner. Do you want me to set the car?
- Sure, honey. But use the good hubcaps.
- You’re in big trouble, mister.
- Joey, are you okay? You had us worried sick.
- Danny, I’m fine.
- In that case, you’re in big trouble, mister.
- Hey, look, I know I’m a little late. But you’re not gonna believe what happened.
- I had this little nick in my car, right?
- You don’t say.
- And I went to buy some touch-up paint and you’ll never believe who I ran into.
- Speaking of running into things, come with me into the kitchen.
- Oh, are you upset because I took the last ice cube and didn’t refill the tray?
- Something like that.
- Wait, Dad. Let me get in there first.
- Danny, look, I-I’ll go to the store, I’ll buy some more ice.
- Everything will be fine, okay? Don’t worry about it.
- My car.
- Rosie.
- This is my punishment for not filling the ice cube tray?
- Are you saying you didn’t know about this?
- If I did, don’t you think I would have bought a bigger jar of touch-up paint?
- Danny, when I left, Stephanie was watching my car. What the heck happened?
- Well, here’s someone who knows what the heck happened.
- I was taking a make-believe drive through the country..
- …and I wanted to play the radio.
- So, I turned the key.. …and the next thing I knew, I was in the kitchen.
- I should’ve never left those keys in the ignition.
- It’s not your fault, Joey. I had no business being in your new car.
- – It was perfect. – Well, almost.
- The radio didn’t work.
- Now he tells me.
- Go ahead, Dad. Yell, scream, punish me.
- Or if you want, I’ll just move to Mexico.
- Right now, I want you just to wait upstairs in your room until I can figure out what to do with you.
- Come on, Steph.
- Here, Deej, take your sister upstairs. Make sure she doesn’t skip the country.
- My turn to drive the car.
- You know the rules, Michelle. Nobody gets to drive till they’re eight years old.
- [sobbing] Rosie.
- Don’t cry. Be a big boy.
- Come on, Steph. You just made a mistake.
- But everything’s gonna be alright.
- D.J., I’d like to talk to Stephanie alone, please.
- Sure, Dad. Hang in there, Steph.
- Go easy on her, Dad. She’s just a kid.
- Stephanie, I am very disappointed in you.
- How could you do this?
- You could’ve been hurt. You could’ve hurt someone else.
- What you did is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.
- I know. That’s why I ran away.
- And you know better than that, too, don’t you?
- I know. Everything I do is wrong. I hate myself.
- Steph, come out from under there.
- I don’t deserve fresh air.
- How long do you intend to stay under that blanket?
- Till I get married.
- You know, it could be very difficult to meet somebody under there.
- I’ll just stay in my room the rest of my life.
- Well, I don’t know about that.
- But I do know that I’m gonna have to punish you. Big time.
- And I should never get any allowance or presents ever again.
- And you should send me away to carpenter school.. …so I can build you a brand-new house that you can live in without me.
- And you’d never have to hug or kiss me again.
- Steph, there is nothing you could ever do
- that would make me stop hugging and kissing you.
- Nothing?
- Come here.
- Look.
- You have to know, that no matter what you do wrong..
- …and no matter how angry I get.
- I am always gonna forgive you.
- – Because I love you. – How can you still love me?
- I wrecked Joey’s car and I broke the house.
- Steph, those are just things.
- We can always buy a new car or we could put up a new wall.
- ‘But there’s only one Stephanie Judith Tanner.’
- And you could never be replaced.
- Gee, I never thought of that.
- I think about it every day.
- I love you, dad.
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