- – Put it in and blow it. – Here goes the double.
- – That’s huge, Joe. – Watch how I do it.
- – Now, take it up, and blow it. – Watch how big mine is.
- (Jesse) ‘Lookout! Whoa!’
- – Watch this Joey. – Look at all these bubbles!
- Alright, not bad.
- Watch this. Watch how many I can do.
- Now, boys. I don’t mind you playing. But I sure hope you finished your homework.
- – We finished our homework. – Yeah.
- Okay, Michelle, daddy is gonna make a home video of you
- to show all the nice viewers of Wake Up San Francisco.
- Alright, when I say, “Action”, you walk over to the table
- and you show everybody how you eat like a big girl.
- Alright, Michelle?
- Alrighty.
- Okay. Now, go to the table and action!
- No, no. No horsey, no horsey, honey.
- Sit at the table.
- The table.
- The table.
- Horsey.
- Okay, fine. We’ll make it a western.
- Alright.
- Okay, can you say “Yipee-yi-o-kia?”
- No.
- Daddy, daddy. Guess what?
- I did a hundred and three hula-hoops at school today.
- It was awesome.
- (both) One, two, three, four–
- (Danny) ‘Uh, Stephanie, honey, I’m very happy for you’
- but right now I’m busy making a movie about your adorable little sister.
- Daddy, I can be adorable too.
- Stephanie…I’m very sorry
- but this tape is just about Michelle, I’ll watch you later.
- Oh, sure. Oh, sure. Oh, sure.
- Oh, sure, don’t worry, Mr. Dryer.
- You’re gonna have the “Sweat World Health Club” jingle first thing tomorrow morning just like we promised.
- Yes, sir. How’s it coming along?
- Oh, we’ve got a barrel full of good ideas.
- Yeah, okay, yeah, well, I gotta, I gotta go.
- Yeah, another great idea just hit me. Ha, ha. Okay. Yes, sir.
- I promise. Tomorrow morning.. Joseph!
- …you’ll have jingle magic.
- Yes, sir, b-bye-bye.
- Joseph, you are so immature.
- Sorry, Jess. I’m just frustrated.
- We’ve got to get this jingle.
- Okay, What’s the problem? I’m a funny guy..
- Must be you.
- Joseph, this is no time to start turning on each other.
- Now we..we make a great team, man, we’re the best. We’re the brightest.
- This particular jingle’s taking a little extra time because.. Well, because we’re holding up for quality.
- Now check the trash again.
- Hey, remember this one? It’s that rap thing we did.
- We hated that three days ago.
- Three days ago I wasn’t down on my knees sifting through the garbage.
- Good point. Get up.
- – Okay. – Jumping, right. Let’s try this..
- ♪ If your body’s looking chubby your friends call you tubby ♪ ♪ And your wife’s out shopping for a brand-new hubby ♪
- ♪ Then you better stop crying and start pumping iron ♪
- ♪ At the sweat, sweat, sweat, sw-sw-sw-sweat world ♪
- – That stinks. – That was the worst.
- Not good.
- Guess what? I broke the 1st grade record.
- Watch me do 103 hulas.
- – One, two, three.. – Steph, Steph. – Four, five, six, seven.. – Steph, Steph, Steph, Steph.
- Steph, tell ya what, we’ll watch ya do it later.
- Later? I’m gettin’ to hate that word.
- Stephanie, we’re sorry, but your Uncle Jesse and Joey are under tremendous pressure.
- Guys, you gotta help me with my science homework, I’m desperate.
- Sorry D.J., you’ll have to wait until later.
- Uncle Jesse and Joey are under tremendous pressure.
- Please, I really need your help.
- I have to build some kind of homemade thingy to drop an egg two stories without breaking it.
- – And it’s due tomorrow. – Tomorrow?
- Your teacher only gave you one day to do this homemade thingy?
- Well, he gave us a little more than a day.
- How little more?
- Maybe a day or two or…20.
- Twenty? You had 20 days to do this and you waited till the last minute, young lady?
- Technically the last minute isn’t until 8.59 tomorrow morning.
- You gotta start thinking about law school.
- Guys, if I fail this science project I won’t get out of the 6th grade.
- Oh come on, Joey, please, please, please, pretty please.
- Well, okay.
- Oh, sure go right to Mr. Softy.
- Joseph, we don’t have time to be dropping eggs. Now, we gotta concentrate on this jingle.
- Now I’m gonna sit down right now and come up with a great idea.
- – Let’s help the kid. – Great idea.
- 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100–
- Steph, look out. We have work to do.
- D.J., I was one hula away from my record!
- Sorry, Steph. But you happen to be hooping in my laboratory.
- Hey, what can we use to build this thing?
- Ah, anything around the house.
- How about a suitcase full of cotton?
- Rule number 26. “No suitcases full of cotton.”
- Hey, no fair. You said you were too busy to play with me.
- How come you are playing with D.J.?
- Stephanie , we are not playing. This is for D.J.’s school.
- Yeah, this happens to be a sixth grade science project.
- Well, pin a rose on your nose.
- You’re just too young to understand.
- I got it. I got a great idea.
- We put the egg inside nature’s perfect shock absorber..
- …a Twinkie.
- Good thinking, Ding Dong.
- Watch and be amazed.
- Alright, let’s give her a try. Let ‘er rip.
- I’m too young for this? Sheesh!
- Okay, daddy, it’s later.
- Oh, Steph, Michelle was just singing the cutest little song.
- I learnt a new song in school today.
- ♪ I write the songs that make the whole world sing ♪
- Steph, Steph..as happy as I am to hear that the public schools
- are keeping that song alive
- I really have to get some footage of Michelle singing her little song.
- You think you’re so cute.
- Don’t worry, be happy.
- Oh, no, you are so cute.
- ♪ I’ve been alive forever ♪
- ♪ and I wrote the very first song ♪
- Sorry Mr. Bear, my heart’s just not in it.
- Anyway, you’re probably more interested in D.J and Michelle.
- Everybody else is. No one cares what I do.
- – Come on, Michelle. – Come on, Michelle. – Come on, Michelle. – You’re the best, Michelle.
- Hi, everybody. I’ve just got back from Mars.
- I’m the first kid in space.
- Oh, that’s nice, honey. Wipe your feet.
- Sshh, she’s ready to do it now. Don’t mess up her concentration. Ready?
- She did it! She blinked.
- (all) She’s so cute!
- Excuse me, did anybody hear me say “I went to Mars”?
- Steph, Steph, later.
- Michelle, for being so cute and adorable
- and such a good blinker… Joey, tell her what she’s won.
- Well, Jess, cute, adorable, blinking Michelle
- has won Stephanie’s bike.
- – My bike? – My bike.
- You get my bike for blinking?
- I’ve just got back from the Mars. What do I get?
- (all) Get the door.
- Hotdog.
- – For me? – No, for me.
- Get off my rug, you little nerd bomber.
- (all) D.J.!
- – We missed you. – My first born.
- We’re so proud of you.
- What did she do?
- I went to the mailbox and got the mail.
- But I went to Mars. Look what I learned to do.
- – D.J., D.J., D.J. – You’re the best daughter.
- Alright, now let me get this straight.
- You walked all the way to the mailbox and back all by yourself? Talk about guts.
- It was scary, guys.
- There were cracks in the sidewalk.
- Yoo-hoo. Up here. A person is flying.
- D.J., come on. Let’s go into the kitchen, get your party started.
- Patrick Swayze is in there and he wants the first dance.
- I love being first born.
- Oh, uh…Steph, as long as you’re up there
- could you, uh…dust the top of the mantel?
- How rude.
- How very rude.
- Come in.
- Hi, chief, I wanna get a picture of you
- and your hoop for my scrapbook.
- Smile.
- Harry, you’re the only one who cares about me.
- Your family cares about you.
- No, they don’t.
- D.J. is the oldest, and Michelle is the cutest, and I’m nothing.
- I wish I could move out but I’m stuck living here until I get married.
- – Tough break. – Yeah.
- Unless…you marry me.
- Marry you? I’m not even allowed to cross a street.
- Married people are allowed.
- Really?
- Okay, I’ll marry you.
- Harry, you have to propose.
- A girl waits her whole life for this moment.
- Get down on one knee.
- Okay, chief.
- I can see up your nose.
- Harry, this is supposed to be romantic.
- Sorry.
- I can see up your nose, darling.
- Never mind. We’ll get married today.
- I’ll call our friends and we can get a house.
- Then we won’t have to put up with D.J. and Michelle anymore.
- I’ll be Stephanie Takiyama.
- And I’ll be Harry Tanner.
- I hope our egg-drop thingy works.
- D.J, how could it fail, it’s quite simple.
- You see, we simply drop the tinker toy frame to the ground
- the elastic stretches, taking in the impact
- allowing the egg to remain in its resting place… ..Michelle ‘s bootie.
- Alright, pal, count it down.
- Ninety nine, 98, 97..
- …ninety six, 95, 94–
- Will you stop that, huh?
- Start at five.
- I love getting you all riled up.
- Five, four, three, two, one.
- – ‘I’ll get it.’ – Eggs away!
- Good hands.
- I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you all
- so very much for..
- …allowing me to play an important part in my daughter’s education.
- We’re here for Stephanie’s wedding. Which way to the backyard?
- Through the kitchen and hang a left
- Got it. Come on, gang, right through here.
- On the double, let’s go.
- Who are all these kids?
- Well, that’s Dopey, Sneezy, Blinky
- Moe, Curly, Shem, Spanky and of course
- Father Guido Sarducci as the Beaver.
- Well, what do you say guys? Back to the drawing board?
- Sorry, D.J, we gotta get back to our Sweat world jingle.
- – Come on, Joseph. – Wait, hold it.
- I got it. All we do is slow it down.
- Oh, that’s good idea. We do it like a ballad. Like kind of a Sinatra thing.
- ♪ Meet me down at Sweat world baby ♪ ♪ Dooby-doo uh scooby ♪
- Will you stop that, huh?
- Not the jingle, the egg. We slow it down with a parachute.
- Oh, yes! I’ll try anything.
- Let’s go get a handkerchief.
- Our careers are over, but we’re gonna pass 6th grade science.
- Come on, Harry, let’s get this show on the road.
- Are you sure you know how to marry people?
- My dad’s a minister. He’s dragged me to hundreds of these.
- Music.
- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join
- Stephanie and Harry in holy matress money.
- Harry, do you take Stephanie?
- I’ll take her anywhere. After we’re married, we can cross the street.
- No, no, what he means is do you promise to pay lots of attention
- to me no matter what D.J. does or how cute Michelle is?
- Yeah, why not?
- Now its time for the wedding bows.
- Now say I do.
- – I do. – I do too.
- May I have the ring please?
- Wait.
- – Did you get a ring? – Better.
- I got a stick-on tattoo of Scooby-Doo.
- Lick your hand.
- It’s beautiful.
- Stephanie and Harry I now announce you man and wife.
- You may kiss the bride.
- If you don’t kiss, you’re not really married.
- He’s not a bad kisser.
- – Are you ready? – All set.
- Jess, I think we got it.
- Hanky parachute, double Twinkie landing craft..
- Now, Mr. Wizard, we do have the technology.
- Deej, let her rip.
- Eggs Away take 2!
- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Alright, you’re welcome.
- Now, Joseph and I have to get back to our jingle for Sweat world.
- Thank you, D.J.
- You guys are geniuses.
- Well, you know what Edison said
- “Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.”
- What’s that supposed to mean?
- Means if you don’t sweat it you don’t get it.
- (both) If you don’t sweat it, you don’t get it.
- That’s it, Joseph. Alright, ah, ah, lets put it with the music.
- ♪ If you don’t sweat it you don’t get it ♪
- ♪ For the bod they’ll admire ♪ ♪ You got to perspire down at the sweat world ♪
- – Hey, come on in. – And get pumped.
- ♪ If you don’t sweat it ♪
- – It’s a good melody. – Come on, honey.
- Oh, come on.
- Go around, go around.
- Come here, you cutie.
- People, I would like to make a very important announcement.
- I was married this afternoon.
- Pardon me?
- Hi, dad.
- Well, don’t you two make a cute little bride and groom.
- You could stand on top of your own wedding cake.
- Well, good bye, everyone. It’s been a great six years.
- Harry, let’s go house-hunting.
- No, I have to go home. Bye, Steph.
- Bye, Pop.
- Wait, wait. You can’t walk out on me.
- Yes, I can. Tonight’s meatloaf night.
- Great. Nobody wants me.
- Steph? What do you mean “Nobody wants you?”
- Your family wants you.
- Some family.
- You didn’t even care that I broke the hula-hoop record or went to Mars.
- You went to Mars?
- Maybe, we have been a tad preoccupied.
- Kiddo, we’re, uh, we’re sorry if we ignored you. We didn’t mean to.
- I think we were just little caught up in what we were doing.
- Well, now my science project’s done I can watch you hula hoop.
- Forget it. It doesn’t matter.
- You’re always gonna be the oldest and Michelle’s always gonna be the baby
- and I’m always gonna be stuck in the middle.
- Hold it, Goldilocks.
- See what I mean. I’m stuck in the middle again!
- – Stephanie. – Sit down.
- I understand how you’re feeling.
- But there’s another way to look at this. There’s a lot of special things about being in the middle.
- Yeah, your pop’s right.
- Uh, take a bologna sandwich for instance. What’s the best part of a bologna sandwich?
- The bologna.
- – And where is the bologna? – In the middle.
- Bingo. Alright.
- And, uh, Oreo cookie. What’s the best part of an Oreo cookie?
- Chocolate milk you dunk it in.
- Come on, Steph. You know where I’m going with this.
- I know. The cream is the best part.
- Yes, Joseph. The cream. And where is the cream?
- In the middle.
- Don’t help. It’s in the..
- – Middle. – Right.
- Steph, what all this bologna and cookie talk is getting to is
- every position in a family is special in its own way.
- Yeah, you’re the only one in the family who has a big sister and a little sister.
- That’s true. What else you got?
- Well, another good thing about the being middle child is
- a lot of the mistakes we made raising D.J. we won’t have to make on you.
- I’m getting depressed.
- So far, I’m the soggy part of the sandwich and the throwaway part of the cookie.
- I like that.
- Stephanie, come here.
- You have to realize that sometimes your sisters are gonna need our attention.
- But if you ever feel that you’re not getting your fair share I want you to come and tell us about it.
- Really? I can do that?
- You better.
- Every time I get a little busy with something I don’t want you to run off and get married.
- Me neither.
- I don’t know about this husband thing.
- One whiff of their mom’s meatloaf and they are gone.
- Come here, you beautiful bride.
- Me next.
- Okay, Lay one on your Uncle J, you know how it’s done.
- Oh, well, come on.
- Hug.
- You know, I think this home video would be so much better
- if it had all three of my girls.
- Let me see, you want to sing “I write the songs”
- or go for the hula-hoop record?
- Daddy, I can do both.
- ♪ I write song that makes the whole world sing ♪
- ♪ I write the songs of love and special things ♪
- ♪ I write the songs that make the young girls cry ♪
- ♪ I’m music and I write the songs ♪
- 私は長女でも 赤ちゃんでもない
- 真ん中なんか損だ
- 待った
- ほら また真ん中だ
- ステフ 座れよ
- 気持ちは分かるけど
- 真ん中だって いいことはたくさんある
- 言えてるな
- ハムサンドで一番 うまいとこは？
- ハム
- ハムはどこにある？ 真ん中
- 当たり じゃ クリームサンド･ クッキーは？
- じゃ クリームサンド･ クッキーは？
- ココアに浸す
- 知ってるくせに とぼけるな
- クリームのとこだ
- そう クリームだ クリームがあるのは？
- 真ん中
- 口 出すな クリームは…
- 真ん中 そうだ
- ハムとクリームの話で 分かったろ
- 家族には それぞれのよさがある
- お姉ちゃんと妹がいるのは お前だけだ
- ほかに何かないの？
- もう１つ 真ん中で得すること
- ＤＪでの失敗を お前には させないで済む
- それ やだな
- 私はサンドイッチの まずいとこ？
- それいいね
- ステフ おいで
- 姉妹は譲り合わなきゃ いけない時もある
- でも不公平に感じたら パパに言ってくれ
- 言ってもいいの？
- もちろんだ
- その度に結婚されたら パパ 大変だ
- 私も
- 結婚なんてつまんない
- 私よりミートローフが いいのよ
- おいで 花嫁さん
- 僕も
- 次はおじさんだ どんと来い
- しょうがないな
- だっこ
- ホーム･ビデオには やっぱり— 娘３人に出てもらおう
- 娘３人に出てもらおう
- ステフは— 歌とフラフープ どっちでいく？
- 歌とフラフープ どっちでいく？
- 両方やっちゃう
- 私が作った歌は みんなの歌
- ロマンチックな愛の歌
- 涙なしでは とても歌えない
- ミュージック 私は歌の精
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