- That means you, Steph.
- What makes you think I’m gonna tell him?
- Because you blew dad’s surprise party last year.
- I was only four. Give me a break.
- Steph, this is an important birthday. Your dad turns the big 3-0.
- How much more than 5 is the big 3-0?
- Well, here, I’ll show you.
- This is you.
- And this is your daddy.
- Wow! He’s almost a whole box old.
- Make way! It’s the Goodyear birthday blimp.
- I had to take a couple balloons off. She was getting picked up by radar.
- Come here.
- Alright. Your daddy’s on his way down. Stephanie, I heard about last year. Do not spoil the surprise party.
- Man, one little mistake.
- Good morning, everyone.
- (all) Happy birthday!
- Okay. It’s been said.
- Now, we can just move on
- and forget the fact that I’m…I’m..
- (together) 30.
- Thank you.
- Okay, anyway..
- …I don’t turn, uh, turn..
- (together) 30.
- Thank you. I don’t turn what you just said until 8:15.
- Dad, it’s 8:20.
- Oh, my God.
- Dad, this is a present from Michelle, Steph, and me.
- Look at this. D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle’s “coupon book.” This is great!
- ‘And you made it yourselves. I love this.’
- “D.J. and Stephanie will change Michelle’s diaper.”
- I’ll hold on to this.
- I’m sorry, Jesse. They’re not transferable.
- And a free car wash for my car, Bullet.
- Do you realize I bought that car 10 years ago on my 20th birthday?
- You know, every time I get behind the wheel and I put the top down and start blasting my self-improvement tapes..
- …I feel like a kid again.
- Boy, you were born to raise heck.
- Dad, that must be another birthday surprise!
- Oh, look at them run. Did I ever run like that?
- You bet. You always ran like a girl.
- Come on, grandpa. I’ll help you across the living room floor.
- You know, you shouldn’t be so cocky just because you’re 24, and I’m…I’m..
- (together) 30.
- Come on, Michelle. Alright, girls.
- Tell our lucky contestant what’s behind door number one. Vanna, Carol Merrill.
- I won a man?
- Not just any man. Jimmy, tell him what he’s won.
- Okay, Bob. Danny Tanner, you’ll be riding in style
- because you’ve won your very own chauffeur-driven limousine for a day.
- Yes, it’s a stretch limousine complete with a bar, TV, telephone
- and a year’s supply of calendar’s…one!
- You guys have gone all out. This is terrific.
- But I wish you hadn’t gone to such a big expense.
- We didn’t. I’m gonna fumigate his house for free.
- I can’t say it enough. God bless silverfish.
- Hey, girls, you wanna ride to school in a limo?
- I’d love to ride in a limo.
- But can it take us somewhere else besides school?
- Let’s hit the mall!
- Alright, Steph!
- You’re going to school. Let’s go, let’s go.
- Thanks for a terrific birthday. Okay, I want one thing.
- I want you to remember I do not want a party.
- This’ll be our little secret.
- – Okay. – Alright. Sure.
- I mean it. No party.
- Fine.
- – Back to the party. – Well, Bob, I’ve–
- Tut tut tut! We’re done with the voice.
- Okay. The food arrives at 5.
- Belly dancer arrives at 5:30. Belly dancer leaves at 6.
- Guests arrive at 6:30.
- Limo drops Danny here at home at 7.
- – What about his present? – Alright.
- Present. I’m leaving work early. I’m gonna take Bullet
- get him fitted for seat covers. He is gonna love them. Come on.
- – Boy, he really loves this car. – Hey, who wouldn’t?
- I mean, you’re talking about a car that goes from zero to 60 in 2 weeks.
- Now, Steph, do it just the way I told you.
- D.J., I’m old enough to carry a tray of “appezizers.”
- “Attepizers.”
- Cheese sticks.
- Excuse me, do you care about cheese?
- Thank you, Stephanie.
- Steph. It’s do you care for cheese?
- She took one, didn’t she?
- Alright. Goodnight. Thanks for dragging it home.
- (man #1) ‘Sure, pal. Good luck.’
- Oh. Poor Bullet.
- Maybe Danny won’t notice.
- Boy, am I in trouble. Joey!
- Jesse, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen your face this shade of green before.
- – This must be serious. – It is.
- Uncle Jesse, is something wrong? I’m getting these vibes.
- Yes, something’s very wrong.
- I knew it. This is great!
- I’m sorry, but I’m developing woman’s intuition.
- It’s a big step in my life.
- Listen, uh, your father’s car has been in a little accident.
- (Joey) ‘How little?’
- Big little. Follow me. Come here.
- I want you guys to take a look.
- You’re dead meat.
- Boy, this is gonna take all the fun out of those
- seat covers. What are you going to do?
- What do you mean, what am I gonna do? I’m gonna do what I have to do. I’m gonna tell him the truth.
- When we’re in trouble we give dad “We’re the cutest little girls in the world” look.
- That may work for you, girls but I don’t have those cute little dimples.
- Well, maybe if you put a.. …pretty little bow in your hair or something..
- Not funny.
- Danny’s coming up the steps! Come on.
- – What do we do? – Okay, here’s the plan.
- First, we hide the seat covers.
- Hide the seat covers. Alright. Now what?
- Look, it’s tough enough for Danny turning 30.
- It’s his birthday, and you gotta promise me you’re not gonna ruin it for him.
- Okay, I promise.
- Then we have to make sure that he has the best time he’s ever had in his entire life.
- Good. We’ll do that.
- Then, in the afterglow you’ll set him down and gently rip his heart out.
- Can’t you come up with a happier ending?
- Yeah, the car fairy shows up and makes everything wonderful.
- – Shh! Quiet, everyone. – ‘Let’s see.’
- 15 of my friends’ cars parked right out front. I wonder..
- (together) Surprise!
- I don’t believe this.
- (together) Happy birthday!
- Thank you, thank you. This is great. I love this. Everybody’s here. This is so nice.
- All my friends from the station are here. Are we running a test pattern tonight?
- Cousin Ed! Oh, Cousin Ed.
- Caroline, why aren’t you out running your fishing boat?
- Oh, what, and miss your 19th birthday party?
- I am so glad you’re here.
- Daddy, would you care for some cheese?
- Oh, yes, Stephanie. Thank you.
- This is too easy. I’m ready for dip.
- Oh, there you are, you birthday nuts. I thought I told you no party.
- Oh, you say that every year.
- This is the last surprise, isn’t it?
- Danny, I just want you to know that Jesse deserves all the credit.
- This whole party was his idea because he loves you.
- – Right. – Always remember that.
- Please.
- Oh, Jesse, I know you hate when I hug you–
- Hey, I got an idea.
- It’s your birthday. What the heck. Why don’t I hug you this time, huh?
- Brother-in-law.
- Say cheese.
- We’ll call this the “before” picture.
- Open that one.
- Now, Danny, if you don’t like it there’s now way I can return it so you’d better like it.
- Caroline, this is great.
- The last time Danny went fishing on my boat he didn’t catch a thing so I mounted his bait.
- Hey, I’m just out there for the fresh air.
- Daddy, I found another present.
- You never saw me.
- Aw, the gifts just keep on coming.
- Look at this, “from Jesse and Joey to Bullet and Danny.”
- ‘Oh, great.’
- Wow! Sheepskin seat covers for Bullet. I could cry.
- Oh, you will.
- I’m gonna go try these on right now.
- Uh, excuse me.
- I think now would be a good time to tell him.
- Whoa, Danny, Danny.
- Listen, before you go out there I wanna tell you something.
- Bullet was in an accident.
- Is he alright?
- No. Listen, this is what happened.
- I’m coming out of Pep Boys, right? With your wonderful yet essentially useless party gift
- and this idiot plowed into the back of Bullet, right?
- It sends him down the hill
- through this guard rail, into the air
- where he did kind of a full gainer. He lands in the bay
- and sank…like a stone.
- But look, Bullet went out with a blaze of glory.
- For a second, you had me going.
- He sank to the bottom of the bay.
- You know what a car would look like if it sank to the bottom of the bay?
- We’ll call this the “after” picture.
- Daddy, are you alright?
- Of course, sweetheart. I’m fine.
- That’s the same smile Jack Nicholson had in “The Shining.”
- Maybe it just needs a little touch-up paint.
- Look, Danny, listen, I’m gonna make this up to you.
- I promise. I accept all responsibility.
- Even though it was actually the fault of the Spanish missionaries
- for being so dumb to build a city on so many hills that go–
- Hey, pal, I’m fine. These things happen.
- Que sera sera.
- Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da. Life goes on. Rah.
- (Jesse) ‘Danny, drop the act.’
- Every weekend you’re out here polishing this thing waxing this thing.
- It’s ruined. The outside’s ruined. The inside’s ruined.
- The handle’s actually in good shape.
- Jesse, it’s not about the hundreds of hours of labor he poured into this car.
- It’s about 10 years of memories.
- Danny, this car was with you through the tough years.
- It drove you to your first real job. Then it helped you raise a family.
- Man, this car was your 20s.
- That’s good. We lost the phony smile. Very good. Alright.
- Now what you gotta do is get in touch with your anger.
- Let it all out. Hit me. Go ahead. Hit me.
- No, I got a better idea. Hit the car, hit the car.
- Hit the…kick the car.
- Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go. Go ahead.
- Doesn’t that feel better, huh? Feels good, right?
- I can honestly say that this is one birthday I will never forget.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, girls.
- Oh, and thank you very much for the lovely seat covers.
- Probably not the best time for birthday cake.
- Look, honey, it’s Mr. Dog.
- What does Mr. Dog say?
- I may be holding the first woman president.
- Yes. Look. It’s Mr. Pig. What does Mr. Pig say?
- Close enough. Let’s go for three.
- It’s Mr. Car.
- What does Mr. Car say?
- You’re right. He doesn’t say anything.
- Because he’s dead.
- Good morning. How are you guys doing?
- What are you doing up so early?
- I thought I heard Michelle crying.
- No. That was me.
- – Can I hold her? – Sure.
- Come on, buddy. Cheer up. It’s just a car.
- Actually, it’s a big wet lawn sculpture.
- Come on, I dare you to look at this baby and not smile.
- Hi, daddy. It’s me, it’s me. It’s me, it’s me!
- Cheer up. There you go. Atta boy.
- See, now who cares about a car?
- Aw, Joey, it’s more than just the car.
- I’m talking about the big picture.
- Who are we? Where are we going?
- And why do we have to get there so fast?
- We’re Joey and Danny and we’re going down into the kitchen
- and we’re going there fast because if we don’t Jesse will eat all the microwave pancakes.
- Do you remember back in junior high school when we had wood shop with old man Pathco?
- Ha ha! Yeah, I remember that old geezer.
- Joey, old man Pathco was 27.
- It seems like just yesterday you were saying to me “Danny, I wonder what it’s like out there
- in the real world? Getting a job, being a grown-up.”
- I did say that yesterday.
- Jess, it’s alright. Come on in.
- Hello, Michelle. Hello, Michelle.
- You still mad at me?
- Oh, I know what happened wasn’t your fault.
- Alright, listen. I’m gonna make it up to you, man. I promise. Joseph, go get dressed. We’re taking a ride.
- Where are we going?
- Are you gonna be home today?
- Where am I going? I got no car. And I’m an old man who just turned..
- …I just turned..
- (together) 30.
- – Thank you. – You stay right here.
- I got a big surprise for you.
- Oh, please, no more surprises.
- No, no. This surprise you are gonna love.
- – Come on, Joey. – Okay.
- Oh! Wait. One more for the road.
- Irresistible. I can’t keep my lips off her tummy.
- He’s right. You’re habit-forming.
- Whoo! Look at this car. The same color.
- This thing looks just like Bullet.
- Thank you. I’ll see you on Sunday.
- This is Bullet’s twin brother. How did you find him?
- Simple, I picked up the phone and dialed every dealer in northern California.
- But it doesn’t matter. I found you. I found you!
- Why am I talking to you?
- Yes, we’re going to buy you and we’re gonna take you home and Danny’s gonna be so happy.
- Oh, we did it.
- It’s gonna be quite difficult to get a good price for the car if you’re actually kissing the car.
- – Right. Right. – Listen. This is important.
- Danny’s getting 11,700 from the insurance company.
- The important thing is we get this car for 11-7.
- Excuse me, is there something I can help you fine gentlemen with?
- Oh, I don’t know. We’re just browsing around. You know, browsing, lookin’ at the cars.
- Well, how about this one? I mean, what’s the story on Bullet.. …on this car here?
- 12 grand.
- 12 grand. I wouldn’t pay a nickel over 11-7.
- Paul’s classic cars. Paul himself. We got you.
- You guys aren’t gonna believe this but I’ve got a guy on the phone right now who’s offering 12 grand
- for that car, sight unseen.
- He’s bluffing us, Joseph. Watch me. I’ll play into it.
- Uh, 11-7, Paul.
- (Jesse) ‘Okay, fine.’ No 11-7, we’re walking out the door and we ain’t coming back.
- He’ll stop us. Watch.
- Goodbye, Paul. We’ll see you, Paul.
- – We’re gone. – Bye-bye, Paulie.
- – We’re already out the door. – We’re gone, man.
- – We’re gone. – Bye-bye, Paulie.
- Adios, Paul.
- Congratulations, sir. When can you come down and pick it up?
- Hi, Paul.
- – 12-1. – I’m sorry, sir.
- I just received an offer of 12-1.
- I’ll give you 12,500.
- Go, dad! Keep going!
- $12,500.
- – 13,000. – 13,000.
- 14,000.
- I’ll kick in an extra 20.
- Count me in for 73 cents.
- They’re up to $14,020.73.
- We got to get Danny this car.
- $14,020.75.
- We got him on the ropes.
- $14,020.75.
- What’s he up to, dad?
- He went up 2 cents.
- I got a loose tooth. Whatever the tooth fairy gives me, it’s yours.
- 15,000.
- I got 15,000. 15,000. Do I hear 16,000?
- – 16,000. – 17, 000!
- I got $17,000.
- No, no, that doesn’t count. The yahoo bird bid against me.
- Too late. He’s up to 18,000 now.
- You tell him that I’m gonna pay anything for that car. I’m gonna pay 20,000 bucks.
- $20,000.
- $20,000?
- I’m going crazy over a car I haven’t even seen.
- Look, I got to send my daughters to college. It’s only a car. Let the other guy have it.
- He went up another thousand.
- But I think that car can be yours for only $22,000.
- We went from 11-7 to $22,000.
- How are we gonna pay that? You know how many jokes I have to tell?
- You know how many bugs I have to kill?
- We’ll just get Danny’s car somewhere else.
- Give it to the other guy.
- Boys, boys, boys. Let’s not be hasty here.
- Did I say $22,000?
- I actually meant 21.
- 20. 19?
- How about 11-5, Paul?
- Sold.
- Can I interest you boys in an extended service contract?
- Write up the car, Paul.
- Danny! Daniel!
- Hey, guys. I am glad you’re here.
- – I’ve got some great news. – So do we.
- – Let me tell you mine first. – Okay.
- Do you remember when I thought the only car I could ever love was Bullet?
- Well, I was wrong.
- Wouldn’t I look good behind the wheel of a Jeep Wagoneer?
- (Danny) ‘Look at this.’
- ‘Rear track lock differential’ ‘self-sealing radials’ anti-theft ignition.
- I can’t wait to find out what these things mean.
- You can’t be serious.
- Of course I am.
- In fact, I even called a dealership today and started bidding on a car that was exactly like Bullet.
- And there was this other yo-yo there that kept hiking up the price. (Joey) ‘It was crazy.’
- So, I just said, bye-bye Bullet.
- I went car shopping. And guys, I fell in love.
- So tomorrow I am buying my first new car ever.
- I hope you’re not planning on using your insurance check.
- What are you talking about?
- That was our little surprise.
- We, uh…got you a birthday gift.
- Take a look.
- You two were the yo-yos?
- – Yo. – Yo.
- I love that car.
- I thought you just said “bye-bye Bullet.”
- To the old Bullet. You have to move on in life.
- So, move on to your Wagoneer.
- Hey, what better symbol for the next decade than a gift from my two best friends?
- Birthdays aren’t about numbers. They’re about who you spend them with.
- You guys made this one great.
- You really want to keep the car?
- Absolutely.
- Thank you.
- (Jesse and Joey) Happy birthday. – Again. – Again.
- You know what really feels nice?
- For the first time it feels great to be..
- …30.
- – He said it! – Oh, yes.
- So what are you gonna name him? Bullet, Jr.?
- Come on, Joey. A 30-year-old man doesn’t name his car.
- Go get the kids. Let’s go for a spin.
- I’ll be right back.. …Walter.
- １万2500です
- １万3000 １万3000ドル
- １万4000
- 私の20ドルあげる
- 私の73セントも
- １万4020ドル73セント
- 絶対に買うぞ
- １万4020ドル75セントだ
- 決まりだな
- １万4020ドル75セントです
- いくら上がった？
- たった２セント
- 抜けた歯 売って そのお金もあげる
- １万5000
- １万5000です １万6000の方は？
- １万6000 １万7000
- １万7000ドルです
- こいつのは冗談だ
- １万8000になりました
- あの車は絶対に買う ２万ドルだ
- ２万ドルです
- ２万ドルだって？
- 僕は見てもいないんだ
- 子育てにもお金がかかるし そっちに譲るよ
- 1000ドル アップ
- ですが特別に ２万2000ドルでお売りします
- １万1700が２万2000に つり上がった
- すごい大金だ ジョーク いくつ分？
- シロアリ 何匹分だ？
- 他を探すか
- 譲るよ
- あきらめるのは早いですよ
- あきらめるのは早いですよ ２万1000ドルと 言おうとしたんです
- ２万1000ドルと 言おうとしたんです
- ２万 １万9000？
- １万1500は？
- 売った
- カーグッズもありますが
- 車だけだ
- ダニー
- おかえり いいニュースがある
- おかえり いいニュースがある こっちもだ
- 先に言わせて
- ブレットは最高だって 言っただろ？
- でも違ったんだ
- 僕にピッタリの ワゴンを見つけた
- 見てよ
- 後輪デフロック装置に 盗難防止イグニッション
- 意味不明だけど
- 本気か？
- もちろん
- 実はブレットそっくりの車を 競ったんだ
- でもどっかのアホが 値段をつり上げたから―
- ブレットのことは あきらめた
- それで この車を見つけたんだ
- 明日 僕は 初めての新車を買う
- 保険は使わないよね？
- 何のことだ？
- 驚かせようと思って―
- 驚かせようと思って― 買ってきたんだ
- 見てくれ
- 君たちが あのアホ？
- アー ホー
- 気に入ったよ
- いらないんだろ？
- 前のはね 人間は前進しなきゃ
- 新しいワゴンに？
- 親友からのプレゼントには かなわない
- 誕生日は過ごす相手次第だ
- 今年は最高だったよ
- あれでいいのか？
- もちろん
- ありがとう
- おめでとう 30歳
- 不思議だな
- 今 初めていいと思えたよ
- 30歳がね
- 言えた！
- “ブレット･ジュニア”か？
- 30歳で車に名前はつけない
- ドライブに行こう
- あとでね ウォルター
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