- – Okay. – Here we go.
- Everyone say “Christmas cheese.”
- (all) Christmas cheese.
- – I’ll get it. – No, no, no!
- Hi, merry Christmas and happy Hanukkah to all you viewers of Wake Up San Francisco.
- Well, I’m off to Colorado for the first annual Tanner family Christmas reunion.
- But through the magic of home video you’re gonna see it all
- starting with our Christmas tree.
- Look, there it is..
- …unflocked and fire-retardant. And, of course, with the traditional smoke-alarm angel on top.
- ♪ Outside the snow is falling ♪ ♪ And friends are calling yoo-hoo ♪
- ♪ Come on it’s lovely weather for ♪ ♪ A sleigh ride together with you ♪
- Thank you.
- Well, there’s my brother-in-law, Jesse.
- Hi, how are you? Nice to see you again.
- Guys, say something to the viewers of Wake Up San Fransisco.
- Hey, you there on the couch. Dig those kooky pajamas.
- Jess, anything you wanna say?
- Uh,just that Danny’s only taping this vacation so he can write it off as a tax deduction.
- Memo to me. Edit that out.
- Oh, careful, Jess, the red bag is full of the girls’ Chrismas presents.
- Remember to bring your Santa suit?
- Danny…I am psyched.
- All week long I’ve been working on my “ho, ho, ho–“
- ♪ Home home on the range.. ♪♪
- Ah, here comes my daughter Stephanie. This happy little girl is what Christmas is all about.
- Daddy, I don’t want to go on this dumb trip.
- Uh, Stephanie, camera’s running. Try to be a little bit cuter.
- I don’t wanna go on this dumb trip.
- Daddy, Santa Claus will never find me in Colorado. He knows I live here.
- Trust me, Steph He’ll be there Christmas morning.
- Well, just to make sure.. I drew this map for Santa so he can find me.
- It’s got the north pole “You are here.”
- And San Francisco. “Stephanie was here .”
- And Colorado, “Stephanie will be here.. Christmas morning.”
- And this is a bird named Tony.
- There, perfect.
- Michelle, could you keep a secret?
- Okay, D.J.
- Great, I’ve been dying to tell someone.
- I found out where dad hid all our Christmas presents.
- I just happened to be wandering through the crawlspace in the attic.
- Guess what? I’m getting my new CD player. Stephanie’s getting her roller skates. And you are gonna be rolling in new toys.
- Toys!
- You promised you wouldn’t say anything, remember?
- And here’s the Tanner family getting ready for lift-off.
- D.J., tell us what’s going on.
- Well, dad, I’m getting ready to buckle my seat belt and return my seat back to its original upright position.
- I made a sign for Santa. “Stephanie on board.”
- Look, Michelle, we’re gonna take a trip with all these nice people.
- – Say, hi, people.” – Hi, people.
- Isn’t this exciting? It’s her first trip on an airplane.
- Whoever designed these airline bathrooms was not wearing pantyhose.
- Nice hat, ma.
- You know, there are gonna be a lot of grandsons at this reunion… none of them mine.
- Pop, you promised you weren’t gonna bug me about this.
- Nick, the boy’s right. Stop pestering him about grandsons.
- At least, wait until he’s married.
- Thank you.
- – By the way, when will that be? – Mother..
- – Hey, what are you doing here? – ‘Hey, Beck.’
- – Hey, Becky. – I don’t believe this. It’s my co-host, Rebecca Donaldson.
- This tape is for our show.
- – Say something to our viewers. – Hi, viewers.
- I bet Danny’s making this tape so he can write off his vacation.
- Well, I could do that but it would be wrong.
- Becky, I’m surprised. I didn’t know you were going to Colorado.
- Maybe, I don’t know, you and I could slip away and go skiing or something?
- Well, thank you for asking. But actually, I’m just changing planes in Denver because I’m going home to Nebraska for Christmas.
- You know, I’ve always wanted to ski in Nebraska.
- You are so cute.
- Well, gotta get a magazine.
- That was Jesse Katsopolis striking out.
- Memo to you, edit that out.
- Oh, hey, you’re sitting in my seat. I’ve got 1b, child.
- No, I have 1b, adult.
- That makes three of us.
- It seems we’ve assigned three people to the same seat.
- – Silly us. – Well.
- I reserved that seat three months ago and that’s where I’m going to sit.
- Well, I do have two openings in first class.
- Oh, I’ll take one.
- No, you reserved that seat three months ago and that’s where you’re going to sit.
- How would you two girls like to sit in first class?
- Okay! What is first class?
- Well, it’s behind that curtain. It’s a magic land where people sit in seats as big as sofas and eat shrimp cocktail.
- Okay, let’s get out of this dump!
- Did you enjoy your dinner?
- Well, the liver wasn’t bad.
- You had the chicken, sir.
- In that case, it was awful.
- First class is so rad. We had lobster and ice cream sundaes. What did you guys have?
- We had the liver-in-a-chicken-suit.
- Girls, come on. It’s the pilot’s birthday and they’re gonna cut the cake.
- Rebecca’s a nice girl. Very pretty. You two would make a wonderful couple.
- Yeah, I’ve tried, pop. She just wants to be friends.
- She’s one of those girls that…her career comes first.
- Hey, I understand that girls’ lib stuff but, uh, you gotta tell ‘em who’s boss.
- – I didn’t hear that. – Good.
- Jesse, hold up Michelle. I wanna get a shot of her little junior pilot wings.
- Hey, man.
- Kid, can’t you see I’m trying to work here?
- Smile, Michelle.
- Kitty.
- – Hey, hey, hey! – ‘Oh, uh..’ Sir, I’m really terribly sorry. Uh, she loves animals.
- Give me back my hair.
- Oh, it’s okay, Michelle. Way to go, mister. Make a kid cry on Christmas.
- It’s okay, Michelle. I’ll sing your favorite little lullaby. Okay?
- ♪ Tall and tan and young and lovely ♪
- Everyone sing.
- ♪ The girl from Ipanema goes walking ♪
- Sing along. ♪ And when she passes each one she passes ♪ ♪ Goes “a-a-a-h” ♪♪
- Your attention, please, the captain has informed me
- there’s a heavy snowstorm in the rocky mountain area so we will be making an unscheduled landing.
- Sorry if I bummed you out.
- Daddy, daddy, we can’t stay here!
- Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m sure we won’t be here long.
- Ladies and gentlemen.. Due to this totally incredible blizzard
- flight 411, that’s us, will remain grounded until morning.
- – What? – What did you say?
- So let me be the first to wish you and yours a very merry Christmas.
- I spent months planning this reunion and now we’re gonna miss it.
- We’re gonna spend Christmas in an airport?
- I told you we never should have gone on this trip. Santa will never find us now.
- Operator, if Santa’s not listed then give me the number for Mrs. Claus.
- Hello?
- How rude.
- Somebody do something! I can’t get Santa on the phone. He’ll never find me here.
- I’ll handle this. I know how to talk to kids.
- Come here, shrimp.
- Excuse me, uh.. Is your tribe sitting here?
- Yeah. Why?
- Well, then I’m sitting wa-a-a-y over there.
- Jesse.. Look at Rebecca over there.
- She looks miserable. Now’s your chance.
- Pop, what are you talking about?
- She needs comforting. Times of crisis always bring people together.
- Trust me. I met your mother the day Elvis got drafted.
- Pop, that’s taking advantage.
- I.. It might work.
- Hi, Becky, how you doing?
- Oh, I’m doing okay, Jess. It’s just that moving to San Francisco has kind of made me homesick.
- I was really looking forward to spending Christmas with my family.
- Ten of us kids gathered around a big turkey.
- This was my year for a drumstick.
- Well, I’m sure my parents would like to think of you as part of my family.
- It’s been so long since I’ve seen everyone. You know, my little brother says Janice has really blossomed.
- Oh, yeah? Is Janice your sister?
- No, my cow.
- I’m gonna call home again. Excuse me.
- What happened?
- She went to call her cow.
- Joey, where’s the bag with the presents?
- I don’t know. It hasn’t come in yet.
- They lost the bag with the presents?
- – Joey, what are we gonna do? – Maybe we should look for it?
- You are so good under pressure.
- And tomorrow morning when you wake up, I guarantee you the roller skates you asked for will be here.
- How can you be sure?
- Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer will find you.. …because his nose is radar.
- All these years I thought it was just a headlight.
- Any luck finding the bag with the presents?
- Nothing yet.
- This is horrible.
- Daddy! Daddy! Good news.
- D.J. explained it. Santa will get here with the presents because Rudolph has red-nose radar.
- Uh, Stephanie, you know, red-nose radar does not always work in real heavy snow.
- Are you saying Santa’s not coming?
- Well, if he doesn’t make it here, I’m sure he’ll find you in a couple of days.
- But it’s not the same. It won’t be Christmas morning.
- Dad, what were you thinking? I had her all cheered up and then you bum her out big time.
- D.J., I think you’re old enough to hear the truth.
- The airline lost our bag with the Christmas presents.
- What? No presents? You mean they lost my new CD player?
- How did you know you were getting a CD player?
- Did I say “CD player?”
- Yes. That’s exactly what you just said.
- Well, it doesn’t matter. I’m not getting it anyway.
- Stephanie was right. We should’ve never gone on this trip. This is the worst Christmas ever.
- This is not going well.
- (Danny) ‘Any ideas?’
- Kitty.
- Santa Claus, you found me!
- Merry Christmas.
- Who is that?
- Santa claus.
- Sit on my knee, Stephanie.
- You know my name.
- Well, I know when you’re sleeping. I know when you’re awake. I know if you’ve been bad or good.
- So why are you so surprised?
- I’ve tried so hard to be good this year.
- Well, I know that you’ve been cleaning your room and making your bed.
- Hospital corners.
- I also know that you ate that last slice of cold pizza that Joey was saving for breakfast.
- You do know everything.
- I also know that you’ve been very kind to your family and friends.
- Little girls like you make the world a lot better place.
- Come on, let’s go see Santa Claus.
- Come here, little girl.
- Ho, ho, ho, Michelle.
- Ho, ho, Joey.
- No, michelle, that’s not Joey. That’s Santa Claus. See?
- It is Joey!
- Uh, no, no, I’m, I’m Santa Claus.
- Why, people all over the world come up to me and say “Aren’t you Joey Gladstone?”
- What a mean trick!
- Oh, Stephanie, wait. Uh, um..
- Santa can’t be everywhere at once. So Joey is one of Santa’s helpers.
- I cover all the airports.
- No, you don’t. And don’t try to make me feel better. I’m going back to my phone booth.
- Poor kid.
- What a rotten Christmas.
- The presents are lost.
- I broke Stephanie’s heart.
- The presents are lost.
- I won’t see my family on Christmas.. …or my cow.
- Did I mention the presents are lost?
- It’s all my fault. If it wasn’t for me, we’d be spending Christmas at home instead of in a baggage claim.
- What’s the matter with you people?
- The first Christmas was in a manger, they did okay.
- I mean, so what if we’re stuck in this crummy dump? Christmas isn’t about, about presents or Santa Claus or cows.
- It’s about a feeling. It’s about, it’s about people.
- It’s about us forgetting about our problems and reaching out to help other people.
- Christmas doesn’t have to happen in one certain place. It happens in our hearts.
- So, if you think about it we could have Christmas anywhere, I mean, even in a.. …even in a baggage claim.
- D.J., what do you see right there?
- – ‘Coat rack.’ – No.
- I see a big, beautiful Christmas tree.
- Joseph, what do you see back there?
- Vending machines.
- (Jesse) ‘No.’ I see a Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.
- Pop, what do you see back there?
- – Conveyer belt. – No.
- Okay, yes, that’s a conveyer belt.
- But the point I’m trying to make here is that we can give the kids the best darn Christmas
- they have ever had. And you know why? Because outside the snow is falling..
- …and friends are calling yoo-hoo.
- Come on.
- ♪ Outside the snow is falling ♪ ♪ And friends are calling yoo-hoo ♪ – Yoo-hoo! – Yoo-hoo!
- ♪ And now it’s lovely weather ♪ ♪ For a sleigh ride together with you ♪
- Bye, daddy.
- Michelle. Come here, you little insomniac.
- Hey, Merry Christmas.
- Merry christmas, Michelle. It’s Christmas.
- Wake up, everybody. Merry Christmas.
- It’s Christmas!
- In an airport. Hot dog!
- You did a great job. It really does look like Christmas.
- It doesn’t even matter if there are no presents.
- (D.J.) ‘What’s that?’
- I don’t know. Everybody, stand back. I’ll handle this.
- Jess, could you go see what that is?
- Ah, it’s okay. It’s only Danny.
- Probably dreaming of a white Christmas.
- Very funny.
- You’re alright? Come on. – Merry Christmas, frosty. – Whoa!
- Here, I’ll get you some hot coffee. Does anybody have quarters for the machine?
- I do, but they’re frozen to my thigh.
- Come on, Danny. Sit down.
- Jesse, what do you see over there?
- I see Becky by the coffee machine, dad.
- I see a woman waiting to be kissed.
- – Under the mistletoe. – Pop!
- Come on, the first time I ever kissed your mother was under the mistletoe. Lasted till New Year’s.
- Hey, there are two things the Katsopolis men are known for. Kissing and great hair.
- Merry Christmas, Becky.
- Oh, Merry Christmas, Jesse.
- Listen, I want you to know if I can’t be with my family on Christmas it’s really nice to be with your family.
- Well, I’m happy you’re with us, too.
- And, uh.. …I’m, I’m also happy we’re just.. …so happen to be standing under the mistletoe.
- – You know what that means. – Jesse.
- Oh, I know, I know you just wanna be friends. But believe me, I hate this just as much as you do. But it is a Christmas law.
- Well, I am a law abiding citizen.
- Have mercy.
- That was great. I can’t wait till we can do that again.
- Next Christmas.
- Hi, Joey.
- Hi, Steph.
- Merry Christmas, everybody!
- Merry Christmas, Stephanie.
- Wait a minute. Are you really Santa?
- Give it a tug.
- It’s a real beard!
- That means, that means that means you’re really Santa Clause.
- And I want you to have the merriest Christmas ever.
- Oh, it’s our Christmas presents.
- Neat-o!
- Thank you, Santa.
- Hey, where’d Santa go?
- He probably must’ve changed out of your Santa costume.
- I don’t think so.
- You guys, come here. What do you make of this?
- Look at the screen. “Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!”
- (All) No!
- I just saw Santa Claus flying away.
- – You think? – I don’t know what to think.
- All I know is this turned out to be a great Christmas.
- – Let’s go open the presents. – Yeah!
- “Thanks for the maps, Stephanie!”
- You’re welcome, Santa.
- Come on, Steph, we’re gonna open presents and sing Christmas carols.
- ♪ Deck the hall with boughs of holly ♪ ♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪
- ♪ Tall and tan and young and lovely ♪
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