- let’s surprise him by saying “Have mercy.”
- Okay? Now you try it.
- Say, “Have mercy.”
- I don’t say that.
- Oh, you don’t say that, huh?
- I don’t say that, either.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey, guys. How you doing?
- Give me a kiss. Give daddy a kiss.
- Give me another kiss. What’s happening around here?
- Well, I was trying to teach them to say “Have mercy” for you
- but I’ve been told they don’t say that.
- Uh, that’s too bad. Well, thanks for trying, Beck.
- You’re welcome.
- – Have mercy. – Have mercy.
- – Have mercy. – Have mercy.
- ♪ Whatever happened to predictability ♪
- Oh, come on. Open.
- Face it, Steph. That locker hates you.
- Not as much as I hate it.
- Let me in.
- Mickey, ditch class with me.
- Gia, I can’t. I got history.
- Ooh, all of a sudden Columbus discovering Ohio is more important than having a life?
- Hey, I’m doing good in that class.
- You’ve become such a dweeb lately.
- Come on, please?
- I wonder who you’re getting it from?
- There’s that new kid Jamie I was telling you about.
- – Whoa, he’s hot. – He’s mine.
- Has he asked you out?
- Close. He bumped into my desk.
- [bell rings] I got to go.
- Steph, I’ll see you at lunch.
- Hopefully.
- Ah, finally.
- Oops. Sorry.
- Yeah, right.
- – Hi, Jamie. – Hi.
- Come on, open.
- Um, excuse me.
- Do you need some help with that?
- Got a crowbar?
- Uh, you just got to… lift when you open it.
- – Thanks. – No problem.
- – I’m Jamie. – Stephanie.
- Do you play guitar, or is that like a really big pencil bag?
- Actually, I’m in a band.
- – Human Pudding. – Human Pudding?
- What kind of music do you play?
- – Loud. – Cool.
- Listen, my band’s playing Friday. Think you might like to go with me or something?
- Yeah, that would be great.
- Cool. It’s new band night at The Smash Club.
- – You’ve ever been there? – Are you kidding?
- My Uncle Jesse owns The Smash Club.
- Hey, do I know how to pick them or what?
- Maybe if your aunt owns a McDonald’s we can get something to eat after the show.
- Alright, now we add the vanilla.
- Michelle, can you get the vanilla out of the spice cabinet, please?
- Vanilla. Coming right up.
- Alright, it says, “Add margarine and mix vigorously.”
- Go ahead.
- Vigorously. Come on, man, warp speed.
- I’m givin’ you all I got, captain. This spoon can’t take anymore.
- And I’ve got Klingons.
- I’ve got to get a blender.
- Come on, Michelle, you’re killing me.
- – Where’s the vanilla? – I don’t know.
- The spice cabinet turned into the cleaning cabinet.
- So it has. Let me, check this out.
- Look at this the pots and pans are where the soup used to be.
- – Good morning, everybody. – Danny, brace yourself.
- We’ve been.. …rearranged.
- – Yeah. Actually, uh, I did it. – ‘You?’
- Danny, you spent years perfecting your cabinet system.
- Joey, why does everything always have to be where everything is supposed to be?
- Dad, are you sick?
- Let me feel your forehead.
- Cool as a cucumber.
- I’m fine, sweetheart.
- No, you’re not. You’re scratchy.
- Oh, yeah. Sorry. I’m growing a little stash.
- – What do you think of it? – Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, that’ll be a good look for you if the left side grows in.
- And, uh, the right side.
- Okay, guys. Very cute. You’re both.. You’re just, you’re cracking me up.
- Uh, Danny, all these changes wouldn’t have anything to do with you and Vicky breaking off your engagement would it?
- Absolutely not. Everything is fine.
- It’s been weeks already, okay? I’m-I’m over it.
- I just think it’s time for a few changes around here.
- To everything, turn, turn, turn there is a season, turn, turn, turn.
- Which reminds me, it’s time to turn the mattress. Excuse me.
- Boy, we’ve got a big problem here.
- You know, Michelle’s right. Danny can deny it all he wants but this Vicky thing is really eating away at him.
- No, I mean we still can’t find the vanilla.
- Alright. We’ll find the vanilla.
- Listen, guys, uh, you know, Danny’s having a little problem with this whole thing. So, we’re just gonna have to be there for him till he gets over it.
- If he wants to make changes I say we go ahead and-and we indulge him. You know what I’m saying?
- We have to be loving and we have to be caring. Okay?
- Now, let’s finish these cookies. We need the vanilla.
- What is he, out of his mind? What kind of idiot, would puts balls–
- ‘Uncle Jesse..’
- …do you think that’s loving or caring?
- Hey, guys, guess what.
- The chair’s gone.
- Dad’s been here.
- Anyway, I have a date Friday.
- Hey, alright, Steph.
- Does he have an older brother?
- – I don’t think so. – In that case, who cares?
- Steph, someone named Gia is here to see you.
- Gia? What does she want?
- Do I look like your secretary?
- What happened to your room?
- – There you go. – Thanks for the autographs.
- I just can’t get enough of “Wake up, San Francisco.”
- [chuckles] Really? Well, thank you. It-It’s our pleasure.
- – Hi, Gia. – Oh, hi, Stephanie.
- Steph, we didn’t know your friend was such a delight.
- Huh, neither did I.
- Stephanie, why don’t we go to your room and talk?
- Okay.
- Uh, Gia, Gia, stop by whenever you’d like.
- Thanks.
- Great mustache, Mr. Selleck.
- Thanks. You can call me Tom.
- Actually, this works.
- This is my room..
- …I think.
- Dad’s been busy.
- Uh, Gia, this is my little sister Michelle.
- Hi, Michelle. Do you mind if your sister and I talk?
- [imitating Gia] Are you going to be talking like this?
- Tell you what.
- If you leave us alone I’ll give you a tic-tac.
- Wow. A whole tic-tac just for me.
- Who’s your friend?
- Listen, Tanner, what you did today was really low.
- You knew I liked Jamie, but you went for him anyway.
- I didn’t know you liked him.
- Now you know. So you better call your little date off.
- No way.
- Tell him you can’t make it. You’re not feeling well.
- I feel fine.
- You won’t if you don’t call off your date.
- I’m not gonna do that.
- Fine. It’s your funeral.
- I’m telling you it’s true. Here she comes.
- Stephanie, get over here.
- What are they laughing at?
- You.
- “Earn big bucks” What does that mean?
- Gia told everybody that you paid Jamie 20 bucks to go out with you.
- It’s all over school.
- What?
- Hey, Steph. I’ll go out with you. I need a new bike.
- Hang in there.
- Steph, we got to talk.
- About this?
- Yeah. Everybody’s been ragging on me.
- – Uh, who started this? – It’s Gia.
- She said if we didn’t call off our date she’d make my life miserable.
- Hey, Jamie, I was wondering..
- Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to disturb you at work.
- Listen, I’m really sorry about all of this.
- If you want to break the date, I understand.
- Maybe that’s a good idea.
- It is?
- Sorry, Steph.
- Yeah, me, too.
- Come on, keep going. Stay with me here.
- Keep going. Stop.
- Drop the Wurlitzer.
- – This is the spot. – In the middle of the room?
- Absolutely. This is a good idea. You know what, it’ll be a conversation piece here.
- Oh, you think so?
- See? We’re talking about it already.
- Interesting. The organ’s in the middle of the room.
- Am I wrong, or is this house abuzz with organ related chatter?
- Deej, your dad’s totally flaked out.
- It’s this whole splitting-up-with-Vicky thing. We’re just trying to be supportive.
- I understand.
- Hey, soup for one.
- ♪ They say that breaking up is hard to do ♪♪
- You know what I think I like the organ better over there, okay?
- What’s left? Oh, Joey’s room. Excuse me.
- You know, I don’t care how upset Danny is.
- – I like my room the way it is. – Oh, what’s he gonna do?
- Rearrange your Bullwinkle night-light?
- Hey, guys, is the chain saw gassed up?
- [imitating Bullwinkle] Let’s go, Rock.
- I hate my life.
- Let me guess. Bad day at school?
- Gia told everybody that I paid Jamie 20 bucks to go out with me.
- Twenty bucks? Boy, prices sure have gone up since I left junior high.
- It’s just a rumor Gia started to scare him off. And, boy, did it work.
- I gotta get her back.
- Well, I can lend you my gym socks to stick in her locker.
- Kimmy, she wants to hurt her not kill her.
- So what do you guys think?
- – Great, really great. – Yeah, it’s different.
- Yeah, this is, uh, great idea, dad.
- What could be more fun than sharing an authentic Japanese meal with your family and friends?
- And your golden retriever.
- Oh, Comet. Sayonara, boy.
- Come on. That’s enough. ‘There’s sushi outside. Come on.’
- How long do we have to eat on the floor?
- Well, until your dad gets over this post-Vicky blues thing.
- Or one more day, whichever comes first.
- – Oh, this is so much fun. – Yeah.
- Watching my family having a good time. Enjoying their dinner, savoring new experiences.
- Nicky, Alex, how are you guys making out with your chopsticks?
- Alex, chopsticks are not a toy.
- What about Joey?
- How did those get there?
- I’ll get it.
- – ‘Dig in, everyone.’ – ‘Pass me some rice.’
- – Hey, Mickey. – Hi, Steph.
- Hey, cool. You guys went Japanese.
- Oh, excuse me, Mr. Tanner, you got a little soya sauce on your lip.
- That’s, uh, that’s a mustache.
- Hey, come on, don’t worry about it, Mr. Tanner. I mean, I tried to grow a mustache once.
- What happened?
- Nothing.
- Dad, can I be excused? Mickey and I have some work to do.
- Okay, but you’re going to miss the eel.
- I’ll get over it.
- Did you get Gia’s file?
- Right here.
- You, know, Danny, this sushi tastes so good you don’t even think of it as raw fish.
- I’m eating raw fish?
- – No. – Thank goodness.
- – You’re eating squid. – Eww.
- Dad, we know you’re sad about Vicky but I just had a squid in my mouth.
- Wait a minute, everybody. Who thinks I’m sad about Vicky?
- Well, for your information
- I-I haven’t thought about Vicky once today. Or-or how much I miss her.
- Or, you know, where she is right at this very moment.
- You know, the way she’d crinkle her cute little nose when I’d spray too much air freshener in the room.
- Danny, it’s normal to feel pain
- but, you know, going around changing everything
- that’s just avoiding your feelings.
- Yeah, then we end up sitting around on the floor with a gut full of bait.
- I’m sorry. The truth is, I.. …I do miss her.
- But…guess I can’t change that by trying to change everything else, huh?
- Hey, you know something, Danny, I-I think it’s just gonna take some time.
- You’re telling me. This took four days. I thought I’d reached puberty already.
- Thanks for putting up with me, guys.
- – We understand. – Hey, that’s no problem.
- But until then, can we just, you know get back to normal around here?
- Yeah, you know what getting back to normal sounds pretty good right about now.
- Hallelujah. Let’s fry up these suckers.
- Guys, check it out, somebody blew up Gia’s report card and stuck it on the wall.
- Oh, that’s terrible.
- Who would do such an awful thing?
- Steph…listen.. I’m really sorry about yesterday.
- I’m not going to let Gia run my life.
- So, if it’s okay with you
- are we still on for The Smash Club tonight?
- Yeah. Gee, this day’s just getting better and better.
- What’s going on over there?
- A little thing I like to call sweet revenge.
- Alright, Steph.
- Yeah, well, she had it coming anyway.
- – See you tonight. – Tonight.
- Here comes Gia.
- Hey, Gia, what’s zero plus zero plus zero?
- – I give up, Scott. – Your grade point average.
- Who did this?
- You?
- You little.. You little..
- Now we know why you got an “F” in English.
- We got her good.
- Ruthless, Steph. I love it.
- So, Gia, looks like we’re even.
- Nice haircut. Real nice haircut.
- Alright, everybody, good. Have some fun.
- Dance. That’s good. Alright.
- That’s good. Dance. Have a good time.
- Work up an appetite. Buy some food.
- You okay, Steph? You seem kind of quiet.
- I’m fine.
- Well, listen, guys, I gotta go tune up.
- I didn’t think Gia would have the guts to show up tonight.
- Howdy ho, junior highsters. What can I do you for?
- Do something about this sticky table.
- Bring us the menus and try not to take forever.
- Okay.
- That’s one cappuccino I’ll be spitting in.
- Boy, I love this song. Scott, dance with me.
- I don’t want to.. Okay, cool.
- What’s happening, Steph? Having fun?
- Not really.
- Oh, really? What’s the matter?
- Well, a girl spread this awful rumor about me.
- Uh-huh, say no more. Same thing happened to me in junior high school.
- There was this ugly, awful, vicious rumor about me and a..
- …root perm.
- Well, I did something mean to get back at her but I think I really hurt her feelings.
- Oh, thought it’d make you feel good but it didn’t, huh?
- Right. I thought revenge was supposed to be sweet.
- So how come I feel lousy?
- I hate to break it to you, kiddo but, uh, you’ve been cursed with a good heart.
- But, Uncle Jesse, this girl humiliated me in front of the whole school.
- Stephanie, what have I always told you?
- Never get a beauty school haircut?
- Well, yeah, but, no. No.
- I’ve always told you that it doesn’t matter what people think about you. All that matters is what you think about yourself.
- Right now, I don’t think that much of myself.
- Well, you listen to that good heart of yours. It’ll tell you what to do.
- – Thanks, Uncle Jesse. – Oh, hug, hug, hug.
- What do you want?
- I came to apologize.
- Well, I don’t need your apology.
- It wasn’t that tragic. So what?
- You told the whole world I stink at school.
- It’s not like it’s any big secret.
- Maybe if you didn’t ditch school all the time–
- Oh, what do you know? Nobody gives me a break.
- Just once, I’d like to have a teacher who hasn’t heard of me before I got into the classroom.
- You know…it doesn’t matter what other people think. It’s what you think about yourself.
- Oh, what a valuable lesson. Thanks, Barney.
- I’m serious. You got a lot going for you.
- Like what?
- Well, you’re a natural leader.
- Yeah, sure.
- And you’re pretty.
- – Pretty stupid? – No, pretty, pretty.
- And.. …you have a locker that actually opens.
- Tanner.. …you’re such a dweeb.
- Alright. Attention, everyone. Welcome to new band night here at The Smash Club.
- First up is the pride of DiMaggio Junior High School.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Relax, relax, relax.
- They’re gonna be doing their hit single from their yet-to-be-recorded album.
- The young.. …the excruciatingly hip..
- …Human…Pudding.
- ♪ Human Pudding ♪
- ♪ Human Pudding ♪
- ♪ We’re human ♪
- ♪ We’re pudding ♪
- ♪ Human pudding ♪♪
- Not bad.
- Yeah, they’re pretty good.
- I meant the drummer. But don’t get any ideas. He’s mine.
- One Gibbler special cappuccino.
- Gibbler special?
- You don’t want to drink that.
- – Come on, let’s dance. – Okay.
- それでヘコんでんのか
- そう スッとすると思ったのに イヤな気分
- スッとすると思ったのに イヤな気分
- それは お前の良心からの お仕置きだな
- でも私を 笑い者にした子だよ
- いつも言ってるだろ
- “美容室は選べ”？
- いや それじゃない
- 大事なのは 他人の評価より 自分が自分をどう思うかだ
- 今の自分は好きじゃない
- じゃ 良心に従って どうにかしろ
- ありがと いいさ 来いよ
- 何の用？
- 謝りに来たの
- やめてよ あんなの全然平気
- やめてよ あんなの全然平気 私が落ちこぼれなのは みんな知ってる
- 私が落ちこぼれなのは みんな知ってる
- 今さらって感じ
- サボらなければ…
- 誰も私に 教える気なんかないの
- まともに見てくれる先生が １人でもいればね
- 大事なのは 他人の評価より 自分がどう思うかよ
- ためになった お疲れ
- 本気だよ あんたには いいとこある
- 例えば？
- リーダーの素質がある
- まあね
- かわいいし
- オツムが？ 顔がだよ
- ちゃんと開くロッカー 持ってるし
- あんた やっぱりダサい
- どうも 今夜は当クラブの “新バンド･ナイト”だ
- １組目は ディマジオ中学から
- 分かった 落ち着け
- 収録前のアルバムから ヒット曲を１つ
- 若くて とびきりイケてる―
- “ヒューマン･プリン”
- ヒューマン･プリン！
- ヒューマン･プリン！
- ヒューマン！
- プリン！
- ヒューマン･プリン！
- いいじゃん
- ホント
- ドラムの子だよ もう私のだからね
- ギブラー特製よ
- 特製？
- やめといて
- 踊ろう
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