- – You girls want some cereal? – Yeah, please.
- Alright, we got your, uh, we got your puffs.
- We got your, uh, pops, we got some sort of smacks.
- We’ve got everything here.
- It’s only one thing I want for breakfast.
- Vanilla Weasels. The most delectable cookie ever created.
- My weasels, who ate my weasels?
- – She did. – She did.
- – I did? – I did?
- – You did! – You did!
- Yeah, well somebody did.
- Come on, Steph, you were eating three at a time.
- How would you know? You had your head in the tin.
- What are you saying, I have no self control?
- I bet you couldn’t go one day without sweets.
- Uh, I could a lot longer than you could.
- – Oh, yeah? – Yeah.
- First one to eat, lick or even nibble a sweet
- has to do the other one’s chores for an entire week.
- It’s a bet, Sara Lee.
- You’re on, Mrs. Fields.
- Yeah, well, this is all fine and good
- but I still happen to be Weasel-less.
- Don’t worry, I’m taking the boys shopping. I’ll put your stupid weasels on my list.
- You can relax, sugar-gut.
- Thanks, black licorice hair.
- Jess, I hope this time you will stick to that list.
- Last time you went shopping with the boys I sent you for eggs, you came back with slinkies.
- We like shopping with daddy.
- He buys us everything.
- Well, the-the boys are exaggerating a little bit.
- Can we have a pony?
- Only if it’s on sale, son.
- – Good morning. – Good morning.
- Well, Michelle, don’t you look beautiful.
- Thanks, Aunt Becky. I’m going to work with dad Because it’s Bring Your Daughter To Work Day.
- I grew up on a farm. Everyday was Bring Your Daughter To Work Day.
- Michelle, you should be very excited ‘cause today you’re gonna get a chance to see what your dad really does at Wake Up San Francisco.
- Don’t you just talk and drink coffee?
- Sweetheart that’s only in front of the camera.
- Behind the camera, there is donuts.
- Don’t worry, honey, you’re gonna see a lot of stuff that’s gonna make you very proud to be the daughter of a talk show host.
- I’m already proud, but I’ll come for the donuts.
- Well, that about wraps up another show.
- Join us tomorrow for dog makeovers.
- Where we are gonna make a 12-year-old schnauzer look eight.
- Well, I’m Danny Tanner.
- And I’m Rebecca Donaldson.
- – Saying, have a great day. – Have a great day.
- (Together) I was gonna say that.
- (Danny) That was an okay show.
- Daddy, you were so funny you made Bernie choke on his bear claw.
- Well, you know, sweetie, I-I do a lot more around here than just make Bernie choke.
- You see that? I suggested we switch to decaf.
- I also suggested the weekly fire drills.
- I even suggested the suggestion box which was really tough at the time ‘cause there was no place to put that suggestion.
- – You think of everything. – Well, not really.
- Actually, it was another guy who invented television.
- Well, Michelle, what’d you learn about your dad’s job?
- He shouldn’t talk while Bernie’s eating.
- You know what, Becky I have a great idea for next week’s show. Why don’t we do a “Welcome Back, Kotter” reunion?
- Oh, you mean that-that TV show from the 70s?
- Well, that’s a cute idea, but I don’t know I don’t think Mr. Strowbridge would like it.
- – Tanner, Donaldson. – Mr. Strowbridge.
- I’ve been thinking of making some personnel changes around here.
- Donaldson, I need to speak with you for a moment.
- – Ah, sir.. – Me? I hope you’re not thinking of getting rid of Rebecca.
- Yeah, I hope not, too.
- ‘Cause, sir, she-she’s beautiful she’s witty, she’s charming. There’s absolutely no one better.
- Exactly, and that’s why I’m making her the new producer on “Wake Up San Francisco.”
- – Her? – Mmm-hmm.
- Mr. Strowbridge, I don’t know what to say. This is such a surprise. Thank you.
- Her?
- Now, don’t worry, Tanner, she’ll still be your co-host.
- Donaldson, let me show you to your new office. It has a lovely view of Alcatraz.
- Daddy, what does a producer do?
- Well, uh, sweetie, she, uh, she gets to make all the important decisions.
- You know, who to hire, and who to fire.
- You know the suggestion box?
- She, uh, she gets the key.
- And I thought you had a cool job.
- Well, well, well, how was school today?
- Any sweet temptations?
- You might say that.
- Seems someone, uh, slipped some Milk Duds in my gym sock.
- Really?
- Who could’ve done such an under-handed, yet brilliant thing?
- Gee, I wonder.
- Go ahead, count ‘em.
- This one appears to have been licked.
- No way. I did not lick that thing. – I can see teeth. – I said that I..
- This is absolutely the last time I might take Nicky and Alex shopping with me.
- Why? What happened?
- Everything was going along fine, no problem.
- Then we hit the cookie aisle, problem, you know.
- I mean, the kids start-start grabbing every cookie in sight.
- I tell them no. They start screaming like banshees. And all of a sudden, everyone’s looking at me like I’m-like I’m-like I’m Freddie Krueger.
- So did you give in?
- I said no cookies, and I meant no cookies.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I thought I told you guys to finish those cookies in the yard.
- Next time you pull a stunt like this, you’re gonna, uh you’re gonna share a box.
- Yeah, right.
- The twins.
- Hey, Jess, did you get my Vanilla Weasels?
- Oh, no. Sorry, Joey, bad news. They don’t make ‘em anymore.
- – What? – Yeah, but look at this.
- Hey, look at this, I got you, uh..
- Wait till you see this. Chocolate Badgers instead, huh?
- Instead? Jess, there is no instead.
- Vanilla Weasels are more than just a cookie. They’re-they’re a lifetime of memories for me.
- – You know, when I was a kid. – Yeah.
- My mom would tuck me in bed
- give me a weasel
- and sing me the score to “South Pacific.”
- Boy, those were some enchanted evenings, Jess.
- Suddenly, it’s starting to all make sense, Joe.
- Hey, everybody, guess what?
- Yeah, we know, there’s no weasels.
- No, Aunt Becky is the new producer of “Wake Up San Francisco.”
- (D.J.) ‘Wow. Congratulations.’
- I couldn’t believe it when Mr. Strowbridge told me.
- I mean, Danny deserves the job much as I do. I don’t know why he picked me.
- Oh, don’t be so modest, Miss Producer.
- I think it’s great. I couldn’t be happier for you.
- Hey, you know what, I’m going to take everyone out for dinner tomorrow night.
- – Great. – Alright, sounds good. Hey. It’s a Tanner family convention.
- Aunt Becky’s just been made new producer of “Wake Up San Francisco.”
- Wow! What a burn.
- [sighs] Mr. T working for Mrs. Hairboy.
- You’ve been doing that show longer than she has and they just passed you by.
- Bam! Big, tall string bean left standing out in the dust.
- Boy, this must be gnawing at you like a starving rat in a Cheeto factory.
- Kimmy, you couldn’t be more off. I am very happy for Rebecca.
- [chuckles] I feel proud. I-I feel great.
- (Jesse) ‘Where do you guys want to eat tomorrow?’
- Feel like a big, tall string bean left standing in the dust.
- – Hey. – Hey, Danny, how’s it going?
- I couldn’t be bitter, better.
- Good, well, why don’t we go over our schedule for next week’s shows?
- Now, we have a problem on Thursday. Alfie, the talking seal canceled.
- – Laryngitis? – Lettermen.
- Oh, well, since Alfie’s out, why don’t we go back to my “Welcome Back, Kotter” reunion idea?
- – Oh, I don’t know, Danny. – Oh, come on.
- It was your classic All-American high school Sitcom. Remember Horshack? Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- Or Washington? “Mr. Kottair, Mr. Kottair.”
- Danny, I just don’t think Strowbridge is gonna go for the idea.
- Yeah, but, Becky, you’re the producer now. You get to make all the decisions.
- You’re right. The truth is, I don’t like the idea.
- This morning you said it was cute.
- Well, this morning I wasn’t the producer. Didn’t matter what I said.
- So you were just patronizing me?
- No, no, no, no. Of course not.
- Like you’re doing right now?
- Danny, don’t take it personally, okay?
- This is my first shot as producer. I’m just trying to raise the level of the show.
- Well, excuse me if I’ve been dragging it down.
- Danny, why are you acting like this?
- Because you’ve been shooting down all of my ideas.
- I shot down one dumb idea.
- And you know what? That was my last dumb idea.
- You know, since you’ve become producer things have gotten totally outta control.
- I’ve been producer for four hours.
- Yeah and I’ve been quiet long enough.
- You haven’t been quiet since I met you.
- Oh, yeah? Well, maybe things would get nice and quiet if I weren’t around.
- What do you mean if you weren’t around?
- You know, not around, not there, absent, lack of presence.
- No more Danny Tanner to kick around anymore.
- – You’d quit over Horshack? – Oh, it’s not just Horshack.
- No, I’m talking Barbarino, Epstein, all the Sweathogs.
- Danny, I can’t believe that you would put me in this position.
- Now, I’ve got a show to run.
- And if you quit…I will just have to replace you.
- Well, then, I do quit.
- So you just replace away.
- I’ll tell you something, you’re in deep water now, Miss Producer
- because you’ll never find another Danny Tanner.
- I am Mr. Wake Up San Francisco.
- Wake up, San Francisco. I’m Phil Blankman.
- And I’m Rebecca Donaldson.
- Welcome to the show, Phil.
- I was gonna say that.
- [chuckles] Phil, that only works if we say that at the same time.
- Well, great to be here, Beck-arino.
- Well, it’s great to have you here, Phil-arino.
- And our special guest today is Janet Reno.
- The attorney general of the United States.
- She’ll be discussing her career, the new crime bill–
- And she’s cooking chowder. Ha-ha.
- So, uh, what do you think of him?
- Well, he’s-he’s-he’s..
- – He’s perky. – Perky.
- – Yeah. – Yeah, he’s perky.
- Remember I only had one day to find someone.
- It was either Laughing Phil, the weatherman or Vampire Vic from the “Midnight Monster” movie.
- Phil’s a good choice.
- Yeah, and he’s easier to kill.
- I’ll just fast-forward to this other part.
- – Celery? – Thanks.
- [sighs] What are you pretending yours is?
- – Snickers. – Dove Bar.
- Want to trade?
- Beck, don’t you think you and Danny could just work things out?
- Well, I’d love to, but he’s the one who quit.
- I think he’s just having trouble accepting me as an authority figure.
- Yeah, but you two belong together you know like-like Laurel and Hardy
- like ham and eggs, like weasels and milk.
- Weasels and milk. My weasels. I can’t believe they’re gone.
- I’ve lost the will to snack.
- Hold up. Put it on pause. Hold on, look at this.
- (Jesse) ‘See that?’
- “Produced by Rebecca Donaldson.”
- I have to admit, it does have a nice ring to it.
- [sighs] Hey, guys.
- What were you watching?
- You know, we were watching that-that-that nutty show
- “The Frugal Gourmet.”
- Yeah, this guy’s so cheap. You should’ve seen. He was tricking a frog into a bag of Shake ‘n Bake.
- Isn’t this a coincidence? Dad’s here, Aunt Becky’s here.
- Don’t you think this would be a good time to try work things out?
- There-there’s nothing to work out.
- I couldn’t be happier with my time off. I’m getting to do all the things I’ve always wanted to do.
- See, I, uh, even made this ship in a bottle.
- Actually, it’s, uh, more like a shipwreck in a bottle.
- Hey, everybody, I finished my report.
- “What my daddy does.”
- Except now it’s called “What my daddy did.” Do you wanna hear it?
- I’m sorry, but not right now, honey.
- That was the past, and I’m, uh, looking to the future.
- – What do you see? – A new hobby.
- Come on, please. Eat your food, son.
- Hey, you guys, I just wanna say thanks.
- It’s been really great celebrating with the people I love.
- Would anyone care for dessert? Gentlemen?
- I want dessert!
- Double bessert!
- No, no, no, no. No, boys.
- No bessert, no bessert.
- Thank you, garcon.
- You finish your dinner, then you can have bessert.
- – We want bessert! – We want dessert! – We want bessert! – We want dessert!
- Nicky, Alex, behave yourselves.
- Everybody’s staring at us.
- Just give them some dessert.
- What lesson would they learn from that?
- If you embarrass your family, you get dessert.
- No, no, no. We’re not going to do that.
- You know what, I’m gonna take care of this right now. And I don’t care what people think.
- Alright, okay, alright.
- What? I’m just doing a little parenting.
- Eat your peas.
- Alright, okay. Good. Good.
- Here you go. Sit down there.
- You guys wanna kick and scream and have a big tantrum go ahead, go nuts.
- – Right here? – Oh, yeah. Of course.
- You can’t do it in there. That’s-that’s the dining room.
- And here, this is, well, this is screaming room. Go ahead, scream.
- We wanna go back in there.
- Okay, fine, but you have a choice.
- You can stay out here and have your little tantrum
- or you can go back inside, act like gentlemen eat your meal, have your dessert and everything will be cool, okay?
- Go ahead, guys. I got time. Talk amongst yourselves.
- Would anyone who’s not shrieking care for dessert?
- There’s only one dessert for me, and it’s extinct.
- Yeah, I’ll pass, too. I got a big day tomorrow.
- Gotta get that chia pet started.
- I’ll have the triple-layer brownie with the butter cream frosting.
- Well, if no one else is interested..
- – No, wait! – Wait!
- Steph, if we both give in and eat those desserts at the same time, neither one of us would lose.
- What do you think?
- I think the one in the center looks delicious.
- Ah, that’s the cookie crumble cheesecake and this is the very last piece, better jump on it.
- – We will! – Not literally.
- We’ll take it.
- – Bet’s off? – Bet’s off.
- Alright, right this way, gentlemen.
- Very good.
- Come on, son.
- Sit down here. Very good.
- Well, look who’s back.
- We’re sorry.
- We’ll be good.
- – Jess. – Hmm? Where are our children?
- Well, let’s just say we came to an understanding.
- ‘When they go to a restaurant, they act like gentlemen.’
- When they go shopping, they’ll be with their mother.
- Thanks.
- Ah, it was incredible.
- Um, what kind of cookies were in that cookie crumble cheesecake?
- Actually, that cheesecake was made with our very last tin of Vanilla Weasels.
- – Vanilla Weasels? – Yes, Vanilla Weasels.
- The most delectable cookie ever created.
- Weasel crumbs! They’re mine!
- Mmm! I need more!
- Joey, get over it. Get on with your life.
- Oh-ho-ho, I can’t get on with my life.
- Not without..
- Ooh, flan.
- Well, if there’s nothing else..
- W-wait a minute, I thought I recognized you. You’re on “Wake Up San Francisco.”
- And you’re not.
- Say, what’s with this new guy? And where did he get that laugh?
- Yeah, I know, it’s like a hyena.
- Yeah, hyena. That’s it.
- Alright, so maybe he has a bad laugh.
- At least he has a good attitude.
- Why, because he howls at everything you say?
- He howls because now that you’re gone the show is funny.
- Funny?
- Becky, I’ll have you know that I watched the show this morning.
- I didn’t wanna watch it, but you know
- I-I couldn’t turn it off either. It’s kinda like when you have a cavity and you-you know
- you wanna keep sucking air through the hole to see if it still hurts.
- Are you comparing my show to a rotting tooth?
- If the tooth hurts, suck it.
- You know, it’s a good thing you quit because I’d fire you in a minute.
- It’d be fine with me because you and the happy hyena deserve each other.
- They’re staring again.
- Alright! Alright! Hold it! Hold it!
- Now, one more outburst, I’m gonna pick you both up by your suspenders, and take you out to the screaming room.
- – She started it. – He started it.
- I don’t care who started it.
- Now come on, you guys, you love each other. You’re family. And you love working together.
- Now, this whole thing’s just blown outta proportion because you got a little jealous over her promotion.
- I’m not jealous.
- You guys think I’m jealous?
- (in unison) Yes.
- Well, I’m not.
- It just bugged me that she got promoted and I didn’t.
- That’s jealous, isn’t it?
- Come on, Danny, everybody gets jealous. You know, you just got jealous ‘cause Becky got a promotion.
- Heck, I get jealous ‘cause people have, uh, girlfriends.
- Their own apartments.
- Lives.
- Another flan, please.
- Alright, look, I got to admit it stung when Becky got promoted over me.
- But I gotta accept it, and I will. Because I know she’s gonna do a really a good job.
- Thanks, Danny. That’s nice of you to say.
- I wasn’t mad at you. I think I just went a little nuts because I got passed over in front of Michelle.
- I wanted her to be proud of me.
- Daddy, can I read you my report now?
- Honey, I’d-I’d love that. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to it earlier.
- “My daddy was the best talk show host in the whole world.
- Everyone loved him. He was funny and nice and he made people choke on their bear claws.
- I wish my daddy were still a talk show host and so does everyone else.”
- Thanks, honey. That helps a lot.
- Danny, she’s right.
- I’d love for you to come back.
- I mean, the show’s not the same without you.
- You’re a great friend and a great co-host
- and if I had been a better producer
- I would have never let you get away.
- Oh, thanks, Beck.
- (in unison) You’re the best.
- (in unison) I was gonna say that.
- 待って あなたは“おはよう シスコ”の司会者だね
- 元司会者も
- あの新人だけど 笑い方が変だよ
- ハイエナみたい
- そう ハイエナそっくり
- 確かに笑い方は 変かもしれないけど―
- 礼儀正しいわ
- 君にゴマするから？
- あなたが抜けて 面白くなった
- 面白い？
- 僕は今朝 番組を見させてもらった
- 見たくなかったが―
- 怖いもの見たさで ついね
- 息を吸って 歯痛を確認する感じ
- 私の番組を虫歯に例えないで
- 腐ってて そっくり
- 自分から辞めなかったら クビにしたわ
- 君にはハイエナが似合う
- また注目の的よ
- もういい 静まれ
- これ以上 騒いだら わめき部屋へ連行だ
- 悪いのはあっち
- どっちでもいい
- 家族だし 今まで楽しく仕事してたろ
- 発端はダニーが ベッキーに嫉妬(しっと)したせいだ
- してない
- そう見える？
- 見える
- いや 誤解だ
- 先を越されてシャクなだけ…
- 嫉妬だね
- 嫉妬は誰でもする 君は昇進に嫉妬した
- 僕なんか 人に恋人がいることや―
- 家を持ってること…
- 人生にも…
- タルト お代わり！
- 確かに僕は ベッキーの昇進に傷ついた
- でも認めるよ ベッキーなら いい仕事する
- ありがとう うれしいわ
- ミシェルの前で 昇進話を聞いてムキになった
- 子供の手前ね
- 作文 読んでいい？
- 聞きたいよ 断って悪かった
- “パパは世界一の司会者です”
- “人気者で 人がむせるほど 話が面白いです”
- “いつまでも 司会をしてほしいです”
- ありがと 元気が出た
- 私も同感よ
- 番組に復帰して
- あなたがいないとダメ
- かけがえのない パートナーだわ
- かけがえのない パートナーだわ プロデューサーとして 心からお願い
- プロデューサーとして 心からお願い
- ありがとう
- もう最高…
- こっちのセリフ
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