- This is why God created Saturday.
- Let’s watch MTV.
- No. Let’s watch Bugs Bunny.
- But, Steph, Bugs Bunny is kid stuff. We got to watch Yogi Bear.
- But I like Bugs Bunny.
- Yeah, but, Steph, every episode is the same.
- Elmer Fudd says, “Why, you pesky wabbit.” then he takes a shot at Bugs.
- Then Yosemite Sam comes in. “Ooh, ah hate that rabbit.”
- Then he takes a shot at Bugs.
- I mean, with all that shooting going on I don’t know why Bugs ever pops his head out of that hole.
- Let’s face it. The rabbit has a death wish.
- Better than watching Yogi steal the same picnic basket. Boring.
- Morning, kids.
- Hi, dad. Hi, dad.
- I don’t really see you eating cereal out of pots with wooden implements, do I?
- Yes, you do.
- Great. After breakfast why don’t we just take this laundry down to the bay and beat it against some rocks?
- Joey, can you come with me right now into the kitchen, please?
- What, now? I’ll miss the start of Yogi.
- It’s not Agatha Christie. You’ll catch up.
- Girls, take accurate notes.
- Wha-ho-ho! It’s howdy dirty time.
- Joey, the deal we made was this is your week to take care of the dishes.
- I’m just waiting till the dishwasher’s full.
- There. Now we won’t be wasting water.
- Of course we won’t. There’s no room for water.
- Boy, what a night.
- Jesse, what’s going on here? You told me you were gonna take care of the laundry.
- I did. I did mine.
- What about everybody else’s laundry?
- Looks to me like they haven’t touched it. The lazy bums.
- Fellas, let me tell you about this story alright? Last night, my band’s playing this gig in Chinatown.
- A sweet and sour 16 party, if you will.
- Anyway, anyway, I’m cruising home on my Harley, right?
- I come to a red light, I stop.
- Great story.
- Oh, and you told it great.
- Fellas, I’m building. I’m building. I’m building.
- Anyway, the light turns green, right? I try to move. I can’t. There’s something wedged under my tire.
- Just then this runaway street cleaner comes barreling through the intersection right where I would have been.
- I came this close to being a really clean dead guy.
- Fellas, I’d like to introduce to you the little dude that saved my life..
- …Bubba!
- I love this amphibian.
- You just hate coming home alone, don’t you?
- I got to get my guitar. Hold Bubba. Keep him happy. It just may save your life.
- (D.J.) ‘Joey, where are you?’
- Don’t let the girls see him. They’re gonna want to keep him.
- Hide him, hide him.
- The pot. Under the pot.
- Great idea.
- – Okay. – Okay. I don’t see a turtle.
- – Act casual. – Oh, yeah, nonchalant.
- – Good word. Nonchalant. – Hmm-mm.
- Joey, Yogi may be smarter than the average bear but he’s much dumber than the average 3-year-old.
- What’s that?
- Oh, that? That’s, uh… it’s dinner.
- It’s roast beef. Yeah. Roast beef.
- And where is our roast beef going?
- It’s going to the oven.
- Roast beef comes from turtle?
- Not my turtle, it doesn’t.
- I love this amphibian.
- I love him, too. Can we keep him?
- Of course we can keep him. Bubba’s a hero.
- Uncle Jesse, we’ll take care of him for you.
- – Alright. – Are you sure, honey? That’s a big responsibility.
- No problem.
- Let’s go get Bubba settled. He looks a little pasty.
- What a great day. We get a turtle, and grandma’s coming to visit.
- Stephanie.
- Sweetheart, honey.
- Baby. Did you just say grandma’s coming?
- That’s what she said on the phone.
- Well, why didn’t you say something?
- Nobody asked me.
- Steph, it’s not possible for me to ask you every question.
- Do you know how many questions there are in the world?
- Eight.
- What time is grandma coming, honey?
- The plane gets in at 5:12, sugar hips.
- Sweetheart, go upstairs and play with Bubba.
- Joey, how did you know about my mother?
- I answered the phone when she called.
- Why didn’t you say something?
- Nobody asked me.
- Found a home for Bubba. It’s calm, cool, comfortable.
- Nobody flush, okay?
- Alright, I’ll shred him lunch. I’ll swat him dessert.
- Jesse, forget about the turtle. My mom’s on her way.
- Your mom’s coming back already? She just moved out of here.
- I know that, but she’s coming back to check up on me. She doesn’t think I can take care of things.
- What? The place looks great.
- You don’t understand. All my life I’ve had somebody take care of me.
- First it was my mom and then I got married, and it was Pam.
- For the first time, I want to prove to my mom and to myself
- that I can take care of my family on my own, by myself, just me.
- That’s why I desperately need your help.
- – What do you want us to do? – Yeah.
- Jesse, take another shot at the laundry. Alright.
- Joey, see if you can wedge some detergent into the dishwasher. I’m gonna mop the floor.
- Bad news, dad-o. We’re out of detergent.
- Ditto on dish soap.
- And we’re out of floor wax. Let’s go shopping.
- Whoa! You’re in your pajamas.
- Oh, I know. I just woke up.
- [laughing] Oh, I get it.
- I gotta go put clothes on.
- Gee, I wish you could wear pajamas at the market.
- He may need his mother.
- D.J., let’s go. Stephanie, hurry up. Grandma’s gonna be here in t-minus-seven hours and counting.
- Can’t we wait till Yogi’s over?
- Tape it.
- Of course I’m gonna tape it. I tape all of them.
- It’s just that Yogi is so much better live.
- Alright, we need turtle chow, leafy green..
- …there’s no such thing as fly helper, is there?
- I got the baby diapers, baby wipes, extra baby clothes and the baby’s backpack. Great.
- Here’s baby apple juice and baby biter biscuits.
- – Wonderful. – The baby loves music.
- You think we should bring along the organ?
- I got it covered. I’m bringing her crib blaster.
- Okay, troops..
- …move out!
- Don’t forget Mr. Pandy.
- Oh, that’s right, honey. Michelle won’t go anywhere without Mr. Pandy.
- Let’s go. Everybody move it.
- I am so sorry.
- You won’t remember this, will you?
- How many times do I have to tell you? Make a tinkle before you leave the house.
- Coming up.
- Coming up.
- It’s up.
- Coming up.
- Don’t we have one of these?
- I’ll take Michelle.
- I hate this thing.
- Only five hours before my mom shows up.
- Now, here’s the plan, I’ll do the kitchen
- Joey, you do the living room. Jess, you take the bedrooms.
- Now, who’s going to do the toilets?
- Oh, girls. Oh, girls.
- Giddy up, Bubba, giddy up.
- Come on. Come on.
- Can I go next?
- Look at Bubba. Ever seen a turtle that good with kids?
- D.J., go put Annie Oakley in her bunkhouse.
- Jesse, find a corral for Trigger.
- Joey, I’m all out of cowboy metaphors so let’s put away the grub. I was wrong. I had one left.
- Danny, we’ve been shopping all morning. How about a little Yogi break?
- Sit down with your family here. Relax. Watch the bear.
- Alright, alright, but we’re just gonna watch until Yogi steals a picnic basket.
- Okay. He’s got one.
- Hi, yi-yi..
- – Grandma! – Grandma!
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. My granddaughter is a turtle.
- Michelle needs your love now more than ever.
- Give me that.
- This turtle saved my life. Bubba, Claire. Claire, Bubba.
- I love this amphibian.
- Isn’t he cool?
- Pet his head, grandma. He really likes that.
- Oh, he’s a reptile!
- Hey, back off. He’s been nothing but nice to you.
- Mom, what are you doing here so early? Joey said you’d be in at 5:12.
- Try 12:05.
- I guess you had to find out sooner or later.
- My name is Joey, and I’m a time dyslexic.
- I would have told you earlier but I’m just not sure when earlier is.
- Girls, will you just go on upstairs and clean your room?
- How did she know our room is a mess?
- Grandma vision.
- Mom, don’t worry. We’re on the verge of a major cleanup. Aren’t we, boys?
- Well, we were, but now what’s the point? I mean, no one cleans the house like your ma. Right, Joseph?
- Oh, you’re awesome, Mrs. Tanner.
- Yeah. So why don’t we just get out of your way? And, Claire, go nuts.
- Absolutely. We’ll-we’ll catch a movie or something
- and, Mrs. Tanner, if you happen to finish up before we get back
- I’d just like to leave you with these two words..
- …lamb chops.
- Don’t listen to him, mom. You can cook anything you want.
- Honey, we’re home.
- Boys, we got some trouble.
- I’ll say we got trouble. Look at this place. It’s a pigsty.
- I think your ma’s lost her touch.
- She doesn’t want to clean up our mess. She wants us to do it.
- She wants us to do it?
- What’s the matter? Can’t you handle your ma, you wimp?
- You’re totally mommy whipped.
- Oh, I suppose you handle your mom differently?
- I play my ma like a piano.
- Well, I’m glad you’re back.
- Come on in.
- Your mom called our moms?
- Hello, Jesse.
- Hi, Joey.
- – Hi, mom. – Hi, mom.
- Yes, I thought that Irene and Mindy would be very interested to see how you boys keep house.
- Okay, piano man. Why don’t you show the wimp how to tickle those ivories?
- Ma.
- Jesse.
- Can I make you some tea?
- Bravo. Bravo.
- No tea, thank you. Oh, tuck in your shirt.
- – Oh, Jesse. – Alright.
- I remember when you were eight years old.
- Oh, ma, please don’t tell that story.
- Oh, no, tell. Tell. We love stories.
- I’ll never forget it. My little Jesse tugged on my apron
- and said, “Mommy, can I please help you iron?”
- I said, “sure. Finish the sleeve.”
- It must have been like when Babe Ruth picked up his first bat.
- To this day, he’s the only one I’ll trust with my chiffon blouses.
- To iron or wear?
- Hey, man, to iron.
- Alright, enough of this talking. Now, you boys have a lot of work to do. So where’s the vacuum cleaner?
- Oh, vacuum cleaner? We’ll handle this.
- Uh, mom, let’s show them the hoover.
- Great. You’re just gonna love this.
- Uh, Mindy.
- Oh. Of course.
- Now, now, Joey, there is a time to have fun and a time to be serious.
- Listen, girls, I think that one of us should be here at all times to see that things go properly.
- So, I mean, after all, this is where our grandchildren live.
- You are so right. I can be here Monday through Wednesday.
- Well, I’m free Thursdays and Fridays.
- That’s wonderful. And I can fly in on the weekends so it’s all settled.
- Terrific.
- Boys, we are staring into the jaws of a never-ending living hell.
- No offense.
- Moms, I don’t blame you for treating us like children.
- I mean, ‘cause sometimes that’s how we act.
- Yeah, listen, girls, when we moved in here we know we had some responsibilities to do but we haven’t really followed through.
- And from now on, we’re really gonna buckle down.
- Mothers, I have a proposition for you..
- …you all go shopping for a couple of hours. And if this place isn’t clean by the time you get back
- you can all move in here and just run our lives forever.
- – Deal. – Deal.
- Okay, there’s the bathroom.
- Yep, there’s the bathroom.
- Same place it was last time we didn’t clean it.
- Here’s a thought. Why don’t we see if the girls have finished cleaning their room?
- Loving it. Loving it.
- (Danny) ‘What happened?’
- There’s been a bedroom tornado.
- We lost something.
- Might that be your minds?
- We lost..
- What exactly is..
- Is what you say when you don’t want to say..
- …Bubba.
- You lost Bubba?
- He loves that amphibian.
- We’re really sorry. We turned our backs, for one minute and he was gone.
- It’s okay, girls. I’m sure Bubba is somewhere in the house.
- Alright, guys, we’re going to turn this house upside-down until we find that turtle.
- Ready? Go.
- (all) ‘Bubba!’ Bubba! Where are you?
- No Bubba?
- No Bubba.
- Uncle Jesse, me and Steph will buy you another turtle.
- You can have all my money…$2.58.
- My advice is don’t clean anymore. Just move.
- We’ll be right with you. We’re having a little family problem here.
- We’ll look for Bubba for the rest of our lives.
- Aw, it’s alright.
- Bubba’s work here was done. I’m sure he’s out in the world saving other lives.
- You mean, you’re really not mad at us?
- You don’t think we’d get mad over a stinky turtle?
- Hey, if you had four armpits and you were an inch off the ground how would you smell?
- Girls, girls, I know you feel bad.
- But, that’s because you love your uncle Jesse and you feel like you let him down.
- I know that losing Bubba was an accident.
- You’ve got to understand we’re right behind you no matter what you do.
- And if you ever have a problem we’ll be there for you.
- That’s right. And if we ever have a problem we know you guys would be there for us, too, right?
- Alright. Come here, you little munchkins. Give us a hug.
- Next.
- That is so sweet.
- Alright, enough of this warmth junk.
- Oh, we’re gonna have a great time living here, right, girls?
- Oh, yes. You bet.
- Just a minute, ladies. We would like another shot at this, please.
- Why don’t you take the girls to the zoo for 3 hours?
- We got some work to do, alright?
- Alright.
- – And break! – And break!
- I split my pants.
- I can’t stand my pants.
- Okay, guys, we made it with five seconds to spare.
- Come on. Everybody up.
- Let’s go.
- 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
- Oh. We completely lost track of the time.
- Oh! It’s immaculate.
- Grandma Irene, does this mean hell is freezing over?
- Go on, find a speck of dirt, a microbe of filth. I double dare you.
- – Hey! – Whoa! That’s not where these go.
- You take grandma’s goodies, and you take them right upstairs and put them in the toy box now.
- And he used to be the easy one.
- Hold it! Hold it!
- You’re about to enter a sterile environment.
- Don’t even think about it.
- Ma, what about those creases, huh?
- Jesse, you still have your touch.
- Perfect. Everything is just perfect.
- Look, mom, you could eat off these dishes.
- Congratulations. I am really proud of all of you.
- Sorry. Bank’s closed. Can you pay me in cash?
- Mom, I’d like you to meet my fiancee, Jennifer.
- You’re going to give me a grandchild?
- Not for this kind of money.
- Here you go, Mrs. Sianski. Thanks for everything. See you next weekend.
- Okay, so we had a little help.
- Well, just with the hard stuff and the toilets.
- But we make a great team.
- From now on, things are gonna go a lot smoother around here.
- I’m sure they will. Does that mean you won’t need us anymore?
- Ooh, they’re good.
- Of course we still need you. You girls come by and visit anytime.
- Okay, listen, I have to admit that I was a little worried about how you boys were managing the girls.
- Well, you may be a little sloppy but…those kids are getting a lot of love.
- Aw, thanks, mom.
- Aw, this is nice.
- I wish Bubba was here to share this.
- (D.J.) ‘Bubba!’
- I found him.
- I love that amphibian.
- チョロかったのに
- 待って
- この先は無菌室です
- アホらしい
- しわ１つないだろ
- さすがアイロン名人
- 何もかも完ぺきでしょ
- 食べてもいいよ
- おめでとう みんな よくやったわ
- 小切手じゃなく 現金でもらえる？
- フィアンセのジェニファーだ
- 孫を産んでね
- この料金で？
- 今日の分です また来週 よろしく
- 助っ人だよ
- トイレ周りだけ
- あとは３人で
- 僕たちの団結が増したよ
- みたいね もう私たちは必要ないの？
- ヤバいな
- 必要さ いつでも来てよ
- 子供たちのこともあるから 心配だったの
- 油断は禁物だけど あの子たちは幸せね
- ありがとう
- 感動的ね
- バーバもいたらな
- バーバ！
- 見つけたの
- この両生類 好きだよ
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