- Stephy’s very busy. Stephy doesn’t wanna play horsey.
- Yes, she does.
- No, she doesn’t.
- Yes, she does.
- No, she doesn’t.
- Yes, she does.
- Okay, let’s play horsey.
- Yay!
- How could I fall for the old crying routine? I invented it.
- ‘Michelle.’
- ♪ They say it’s your birthday ♪
- ♪ I’m gonna have a good time ♪
- ♪ Today is your birthday ♪
- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪
- Make a wish.
- Aw, thank you. Look at this. A guitar-shaped waffle.
- Guys, you didn’t have to do this. My birthday’s no big deal.
- There are presents, aren’t there?
- – That’s from me. – And me.
- And me.
- “Happy Birthday, Jesse. The world’s greatest uncle.”
- I signed it, Stephanie signed it and Michelle stepped on some paint and walked on it.
- We made it because we love you so much.
- Well, this is the best present a guy could ever get.
- – Thank you, girls. – You’re welcome.
- Okay. Happy birthday, Jesse.
- What do I got? What did I get? What did I get?
- An appointment book.
- Outrageous.
- Well, now you can be as organized as me.
- You see, I even started filling it out. Your things to do today.
- “Thing number one. Pretend you like this gift.”
- This is the best appointment book that I’ve ever received.
- Well, here you go, partner.
- Hey, give me that. Give me that.
- What’d I get? Whoa!
- An Elvis watch. Look at this.
- The right hand points to the hours and left to the minutes.
- And look, his hips tick off the seconds.
- [imitating Elvis] Tick, baby. Tock, baby. Tick, baby. Tock, baby.
- Ooh, time to buy a Cadillac.
- So, old timer, how does it feel to be 26?
- Ooh, it feels great, folks. This is my year, man.
- I’ve got a great family. Finally got a perfect girlfriend.
- Our advertising stuff’s going well.
- I think this is the year my band’s gonna make it.
- You guys comin’ to see the band tonight, right?
- – Oh, yeah. – Definitely. Wouldn’t miss it.
- Let’s get dressed for school.
- We have to go to school on Uncle Jesse’s birthday?
- Don’t worry, I’m sure there’ll be some kind of assembly program in his honor.
- Oh, Uncle Jesse, don’t forget our soccer game at 3:30.
- Deej, I’m the coach. I’m there for you, babe. Without me you got no strategy, no motivation.
- No ride.
- Get out.
- My birthday.
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Get back here, you little gift-grabber. Give me that loot.
- – Happy birthday. – Thanks.
- Here, keep the appointment book.
- No, thank you.
- Hey, Jess, listen to this.
- I think I finally came up with the lyrics to this credit dentist jingle.
- ♪ If you need a root canal you don’t have any money pal ♪
- ♪ Relax don’t sweat it Dr. Lennox gives you credit ♪♪
- Dr. Lennox. America’s top credit dentist.
- And now climbing the charts the music to this wonderful jingle.
- That sounds like a dentist’s drill.
- Sorry, Joseph, I was working on something for the gig tonight.
- Don’t worry. I’m there for you, babe.
- Okay, guys. I’ve got some news.
- Jesse, you get out your new appointment book.
- Write down 7:30 tonight, Sam Battersby, Smash Club.
- Sam Battersby, the music critic from the San Francisco Mirror?
- – That Sam Battersby? – You bet.
- He was in the studio today doing a segment on the club scene and I talked him into coming to hear your band tonight.
- Dan, I’ve been tryin’ to get this to review for us forever.
- – How’d you do it? – Well..
- I just used my wit, my charm and my two Giants tickets.
- Danny, you’re the greatest brother-in-law.
- Jesse, you’re hugging me.
- I’ve been living in this house too long.
- Next thing you know, you’ll be filling that appointment book.
- Oh, what’s the matter, Michelle?
- Where’s Jack?
- Jack’s in the box.
- Jack, come out.
- Please.
- Let me see that.
- Alright, Jack, Michelle and I are outside and we got you surrounded.
- You come out now, or we’re coming in after you, sweetheart.
- Jess, come on. – It’s already 3:20. – 3:20?
- Joseph, I gotta go down and coach DJ’s soccer game.
- I’m sorry. We’ll finish when I get back.
- Jess.
- I’m sorry, Joey. I realize it looks like I’m runnin’ out on you but, Joseph, I would never do that to you.
- And I’ll tell you why when I get back.
- Ha! You’ll never get the ball past me.
- Look, Kimmy, jeans on sale.
- Where?
- Yes! Tanner scores a goal.
- Don’t ever make a jokes about a sale! That’s so cruel!
- Alright, come on, girls. Go, go, go. We’ve got a tough game today. Let’s go. Come on, come on.
- – Uncle Jesse! Uncle Jesse! – Stephanie! Stephanie!
- Tomorrow’s my school bake sale. Will you bake 100 of your special cookies?
- Please, please, pretty please? With chocolate chips on top?
- With chocolate chips on top? How could I turn it down?
- You really can’t.
- Let’s go.
- He’ll bake your cookies later, you little chicken wing.
- Oh, yeah? Well, if I’m a chicken wing then you’re a can of chicken noodle soup.
- You have the brain of a paramecium.
- Maybe I have the brains of a paramecium but you only have the brain of one mecium.
- There really is no way to beat her, is there?
- No, not really.
- Let’s go, girls. Come on, look alive now.
- Mr. Bear, while Uncle Jesse’s baking cookies for the bake sale
- you’d better let me lick the bowl.
- You’ve put on a couple of pounds.
- We creamed those nerd-bombers.
- And now, on your mark, get set, bake cookies!
- Alright, I’m there for you, babe.
- – Hi, everybody. – ‘Hi.’
- – Happy 26th. – Thank you.
- Twenty-six? Wow. That’s more than halfway to 50.
- It’s all downhill from here.
- Kimmy, have I ever told you how much I appreciate havin’ you around?
- – No. – Good.
- I’ll give you your birthday present later, but first..
- …here’s a little preview.
- Look, girls, if you’re going to the Smash Club to watch my band, you’d best get dressed.
- – Go, go, go. – Oh, thanks for inviting me.
- Hold it!
- – Gibbler. – Too late!
- She’s already home trying on new outfits.
- I’ll go get changed. You just bake, baby, bake.
- Jesse, what time should I pick you up for the wedding tomorrow?
- – What wedding? – Don’t tell me you forgot.
- Oh, pffft. Why would I forget your cousin’s wedding?
- Uh, niece’s? Old roommate’s? Hairdresser?
- It’s my uncle’s first wife’s son-in-law!
- Ah, that was my next guess.
- Don’t worry. I’m there for you, babe.
- Jess, come on, you gotta write the music to this dentist jingle.
- Jess, I really need your help. My car is starting to sound like my Uncle Fred.
- It is. It’s going..
- I mean, my car needs a mechanic. And my Uncle Fred needs a vaporizer.
- Alright, don’t worry, I’ll get to your car. Joseph, we’ll do the jingle. I’m gonna cook Stephanie’s cookies tomorrow.
- But right now Elvis’s hands are telling me it’s five to 6.
- And I’ve gotta be down at the Smash Club at 6:15.
- I’ll see you boys and girls later.
- Oh, hi. I’m Danny Tanner.
- I talked to you earlier about bringing my daughters in to hear their Uncle Jesse play on his birthday.
- – Thanks. – Hey, not so fast. Aren’t you forgetting something?
- Oh, right.
- Here’s your two Giants tickets.
- I may never see a game.
- Whoa, this place is so rad!
- Yeah. Look at all these cute guys.
- At least no one’s wearing my outfit.
- Hey, Jess, we’re over here.
- Whoa! Jesse, good look.
- Bon Jovi have a garage sale?
- Danny, not a good time for jokes. Jesse’s band didn’t show up.
- Oh, I’m such an idiot. I double-booked this.
- The band’s playing at Holiday Inn in Sacramento. I could’ve sworn I canceled that.
- I-I’m just confused. I got so many things going on. You know, with the kids, and my work. I can’t keep track of everything.
- Tough break. Anybody wanna see a movie?
- Hey, Katsopolis.
- – Yes, sir? – Time’s up.
- I don’t care where your band is, start playing.
- By myself?
- Come here. You see that guy? ‘That’s Sam Battersby.’
- His reviews could make you or break you.
- Me? I could just break you.
- Show time!
- Uh, so, where am I gonna find a band?
- We’re there for you, babe.
- Alright. Everybody, remember. It’s one of the easiest songs ever written, okay?
- It’s two chords. E, A, E, A.
- We can do it. You ready?
- And break!
- And now, it’s come down to this. Jesse and the Partridge family.
- Ladies and gentlemen, the Smash Club is proud to..
- No, the Smash Club is contractually obligated
- to present Jesse and..
- Uh, these other guys.
- Jesse And These Other Guys.
- Alright, how are you doing, San Francisco?
- You guys ready to rock and roll?
- I hope we are.
- Rock and Roll!
- ♪ There she was just walking down the street singing ♪
- ♪ Popping her fingers and shuffling her feet singing ♪
- ♪ She looked good ♪ ♪ She looked good ♪
- ♪ She looked fine ♪ ♪ She looked fine ♪
- ♪ She looked good She looked fine ♪ ♪ Then I nearly lost.. ♪
- Drum solo, DJ!
- Go, dad, go!
- Take it, Joey!
- ♪ I said Doowadeedee ♪
- ♪ Dee dee dum diddi do ♪
- ♪ My shrink said I’m crazy ♪
- ♪ I said give me a second opinion ♪ ♪ He said son you’re ugly too ♪
- ♪ Before I knew it she was walking next to me singing ♪
- ♪ Holding my hand just as natural as can be singing ♪
- ♪ We walked on ♪ ♪ We walked on ♪
- ♪ To my door ♪ ♪ To my door ♪
- ♪ We walked on to my door ♪ ♪ Then we kissed a little more ♪
- We’re singing!
- ♪ There was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o ♪
- ♪ And Bingo was his name-o ♪
- ♪ There was a farmer who had a dog ♪ ♪ And Bingo was his name-o ♪
- ♪ And Bingo was his name-o ♪♪
- Thank you, you beautiful audience.
- One more time.
- Go, Bingo.
- Uncle Jesse, wake up.
- Oh, Steph, thanks for wakin’ me up.
- I was havin’ a horrible nightmare.
- There’s an article in the paper about our band.
- Oh, no. It wasn’t a nightmare.
- Listen to this.
- “If you missed Jesse And These Other Guys last night you’re luckier than I am.”
- Wait, there’s more.
- “They were so bad, a room of tone-deaf metal-heads were forced to flee the building.”
- Ah, let me see that. Gotta be somethin’ good here.
- “Tone-deaf..” Ah. Right here. See? “The bright spot of the evening.”
- “The bright spot of the evening was the inspired..
- …keyboard playing of the adorable Kimmy Gibbler.”
- “Adorable?” Are you sure it doesn’t say “a doorbell?”
- That’s it. My career’s over.
- At least you have plenty of time to bake my cookies for the bake sale. It’s today.
- [groans] I’m there for you, babe.
- No Jack.
- Oh, Michelle, I’m sorry. I know I promised to fix it.
- Fix it now.
- (DJ) ‘Uncle Jesse!’
- Uh, I’m comin’, DJ.
- I’ll be right back, Michelle.
- Ah, nuts!
- Why aren’t you dressed? Our game starts in an hour.
- He can’t be your coach, he’s baking my cookies.
- Forget the cookies. Just grab a bunch of Oreos and scrape the name off.
- Alright, alright, girls. Now, don’t worry. Everything is under control, okay.
- Okay, partner. Dental music time. How’re you coming with that jingle?
- Alright. I’ll write it right now.
- – What about my soccer? – What about my cookies?
- What about Jack?
- Uh, I’m sorry, Michelle. Let me see that.
- Hey, Jesse, I ruined my shirt but I think I found my problem with my car.
- Any idea why this carburetor won’t work?
- Yeah, it’s in your hand and not under your hood.
- Jess, you promised you’d help me with my car.
- – And my jingle. – And my cookies.
- – And my soccer. – And Jack.
- Yeah. No problem. No problem. We got everything under control.
- We’ll just simply tow the car down to the soccer field
- and while I’m fixing the carburetor
- I’ll-I’ll angle the side-view mirrors, so I can see the field
- and I’ll coach the game, and then during time-outs
- I’ll-I’ll rush into the school cafeteria
- and I’ll bake those cookies, and I’ll swing by metal shop
- and cut that darn Jack out of the box and, Joey
- don’t worry about that jingle because the whole time I’m gonna be whistling, I’ll whistle while I work.
- People, this is your Uncle J. I can handle this.
- It may take split-second timing, but I can make this happen.
- Jess, you can’t wear a bathrobe to the wedding.
- The wedding. How can I go to the wedding?
- I-I got soccer balls to bake and I-I gotta tune up the dentist jingle
- and I’ve got to make the carburetor pop out of the box.
- What’s the matter with you people? Just because I’m 26 doesn’t mean I can do 26 things at one time, okay?
- Because I can’t! I’m sorry I can’t!
- Did you read our review?
- Don’t worry, be happy.
- Your breakfast is served.
- – Hey, Jesse. – Jess.
- – ‘Hi, Uncle Jesse.’ – ‘Hi, Uncle Jesse.’
- What’re you guys doing?
- This is day one of your well-deserved one day vacation.
- Your reading material. I recommend “Curious George.”
- It’s the best monkey book ever written.
- And for your viewing pleasure, the complete works of The Three Stooges.
- Yes, watch them mature from the silly, “Whoop, whoop, whoop. N’yeah!”
- to the sophisticated “N’yuk, n’yuk, n’yuk, why certainly!”
- This is, this is real nice of you guys but, I don’t really deserve this.
- I mean, you guys were counting on me, and I let you down.
- Jesse, give yourself a break.
- I mean, it’s great that you wanna do everything for everyone but you can’t do everything at once.
- Well, what about all the stuff I promised to do for you guys?
- It’s all taken care of. I got us some extra time to finish our jingle.
- And my cousin Sharon will keep me company at the wedding.
- Joey’s coaching soccer.
- And daddy’s baking my cookies.
- And Mr. Good-Ranch is fixing my car.
- Well, see, I don’t, I don’t wanna miss any of this stuff.
- I mean, you guys count on me and I love being there for you.
- And I feel like I’m needed, you know. This is, this is my family and I’m supposed to be the world’s greatest uncle.
- You are. But you still have to learn to balance your priorities.
- I mean, it’s great that you want to bake cookies for Stephanie but not if it means it’s gonna cost you your job.
- Unless you wanna be a baker.
- – Thank you, Stephanie. – You’re welcome.
- He was being sarcastic.
- So was I.
- Jess, it’s okay to ask for help once in a while. We’re not shy about asking you.
- And besides, we’re all a team here.
- Well, thank you. I love being part of this team.
- Okay, everybody. Dog-pile on your Uncle Jesse!
- Ah, man, we don’t do this nearly enough.
- Okay, Uncle Jesse’s on vacation. And we got stuff to do. Let’s go, everybody.
- Thank you guys. Thanks very much.
- And as soon as the wedding’s over I’m coming right back here and see if I can get you totally relaxed.
- Let me just say, “Have mercy.”
- I like the way you say that.
- Wake up, Jack.
- Hey, I’m sorry, babe, but your Uncle J is on vacation.
- I love you.
- And I love you too.
- Thank you.
- Come here, let’s see if we can get that old box a-workin’.
- – Alright. Are you ready? – Yes.
- Here we go.
- See? I told you I’m there for you, babe.
- For you, babe.
- No, for you, babe.
- For you, babe.
- – No, for you, babe. – No, for you, babe.
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