- I’m blowing bubbles.
- Well, my little milk-and-cookie monster big girls do not blow bubbles into their milk.
- Why?
- Because milk is not a toy.
- Why?
- Because they don’t sell milk in toy stores.
- Why?
- You know, I don’t know why.
- Maybe this is one of those things grownups say to keep kids from having a good time.
- I can’t think of one good reason, honey why we shouldn’t blow bubbles into our milk. Let’s go.
- Well, there’s one good reason.
- It’s not like that, like this.
- How’s that?
- Better.
- Perma Teeth denture adhesive commercial, take three.
- ♪ When you’re smilin’ ♪ ♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪ ♪ When you’re smilin’ ♪ ♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪
- Hold the scooby-doo-doos.
- Jess, I have a great new idea for the Perma Teeth commercial.
- Instead of using music which you gotta admit is kind of old-fashioned
- we zap them with comedy.
- Hi, Big Ed here, for Perma Teeth.
- I love my dentures. I used to have real teeth but I didn’t brush ‘em for six whole years.
- How come? Because I plumb forgot.
- That’s funny. Isn’t he funny?
- We’re not doin’ funny.
- – Come on, Jess. – No, Joseph.
- Now, meet our backup singers. This is Stacey Fleetwood.
- You’re Joey Gladstone. I saw your act last week at the Laugh Machine. You were hysterical.
- Well, thank you very much. You were a beautiful audience.
- – And this is Cindy Daniels. – Hi.
- – Hi. – I’ve never heard of you.
- You will. You will not believe how funny he is.
- Joey, uh, do your Roseanne Barr imitation.
- [imitating Roseanne] I can’t do it right now.
- The kids are playing in the garbage disposal.
- Do you have any idea how much it’s gonna cost to fix that thing?
- You got a donut?
- He kills me.
- You gotta do your Popeye.
- You like Popeye?
- Are you kidding? I love Popeye.
- – No. – Yes.
- Any guy who can eat spinach through a pipe is my kinda man.
- I have a whole Popeye collection over here. – You gotta see this stuff. – Oh, my God. This is a musical can of spinach.
- – Are we in this room? – We are, but we shouldn’t be.
- Joey, what do you say, we call it a day?
- Yeah, okay, fine.
- – Dinner’s in an hour. – Okay, fine.
- – The Pope’s coming. – Yeah, say hi for me.
- He’s gone.
- And this is an actual Popeye signature.
- Well, it’s an actual one. I mean, there’s all those Popeye forgeries going around now.
- D.J., I promise, this is the last time I’ll ever copy your homework.
- Kimmy, if you keep copying you’ll never gonna learn anything.
- So what? Once I’m outta school, I’m never gonna use English.
- Oh, no. Look at this.
- The dog ate my homework.
- All that hard work for nothing.
- This is exactly why I never do homework.
- Comet ate my favorite tie.
- Where is that goat in dog’s clothing?
- I don’t know but if you find him see if he has a book report on “Little Women” stuck in his teeth.
- The doggy ate my bunny slipper.
- Oh, honey, I don’t think he actually ate it. I think he just sorta drooled on it.
- Eww. Doggy drool.
- Hi, everybody.
- (together) There he is.
- Yeah, there he is.
- Hey, hey, hey, why is everyone mad at sweet little Comet?
- You ate my bunny slipper. Bad, bad, bad.
- If Comet could talk, I’m sure he would say
- …how rude.
- Dad, no one will believe the old my dog ate my homework excuse. so I’ll just tell my teacher that Michelle ate it.
- Mr. Tanner, have you ever considered obedience school?
- Yes, and tell your parents I’m willing to pay half.
- Steph, Comet is out of control. He thinks this house is one big Milk-Bone.
- It’s not Comet’s fault. His dog food tastes terrible.
- – You tasted it? – Of course not.
- I fed it to Michelle.
- I hate dog food.
- Yuck!
- Steph, listen to me very carefully. Do not feed dog food to your sister.
- Okay.
- And, Comet, you gotta learn the rules around here.
- Rule number one, never lick my nose when I’m lecturing you.
- Comet, I know it’s an easy mark, but don’t do it.
- Okay, okay. Now, name this TV show. Alright, here’s your hint.
- “Mission Impossible.”
- ♪ Mission impossible mission ♪ ♪ How’d I get this mission It’s impossible ♪♪
- – You are so cute. – Oh, come on, cut it out.
- Ay, chihuahua.
- “Ay, chihuahua?”
- Well, I could’ve said, “Have mercy.”
- But it felt a little more like, “Ay, chihuahua.”
- Yeah. Alright, well, tomorrow, when we pitch that commercial I’m wearing my black suit. So you wear your gray suit, okay?
- – Alright. – Ay, chihuahua?
- Joey, why do you always let Jesse boss you around?
- Oh, he didn’t boss me around. I only have one suit.
- It’s not just the suit. He’s been telling you what to do all week.
- What about that denture commercial? Your comedy idea was great.
- But just because Jesse didn’t like it, you dropped it.
- Well, I’m just kind of a go with the flow kinda guy.
- But if you’d be a little bit more assertive Jesse would take your ideas seriously.
- I just wish you’d believe in yourself as much as I believe in you.
- Well, thanks, Stacey. You know, maybe you’re right.
- (Jesse) ‘Joey, get in here.’
- Ah, coming, boss.
- Oh, it’s just a nickname that Jesse asked me to use.
- Oh, Joey, I just talked to Becky. Cancel your plans tomorrow night. All four of us are going bowling.
- Oh, now you’re deciding when I bowl?
- Just like you decided not to use my comedy idea for the Perma Teeth commercial.
- Where is this coming from? We both agreed my idea was better.
- No, you agreed that your idea was better.
- We were just talking about how my idea was great.
- Wait a minute. Which we are we talking about? Are we talking about us we or you we?
- We, we.
- I just think that Joey has terrific ideas.
- Huh, well, here’s a terrific idea
- Why don’t you give me a moment alone with my partner.
- It’s okay, Stace. I can handle this.
- Alright, honey.
- Joey, come on, man. I think you have great ideas.
- That’s why we’re partners. That’s why we’re successful, the two of us. One, two.
- – How come you get to go first? – Fine. Two, one.
- There you go. There’s the smile. Alright. Dueling Sammy’s, okay?
- [imitating Sammy] You are the greatest, man.
- [imitating Sammy] No, man, you are the greatest.
- No, babe. No, no, no. Hold the presses. Pound for pound, you’re the best, babe.
- You, babe, are the Candyman’s Candyman.
- – Okay? – Alright.
- Now, tomorrow, wear the gray suit.
- We’re gonna pitch my idea, and no comedy stuff, okay?
- Mr. Bear’s hat?
- Mr. Bear’s scarf?
- Trench coat.
- And pants.
- This means..
- …Mr. Bear is naked.
- Help! Call 911! Call 911! Help!
- – What’s the matter? – Mr. Bear.
- It’s better not to look.
- I’ll make him better.
- It didn’t work.
- Steph, what’s going on?
- Oh, bummer.
- The doggy did it.
- Comet, how could you?
- After all I’ve done for you. You ate my best friend.
- Comet, come here. This is a doggy no-no.
- D.J., take him downstairs read him his rights and book him.
- I’m sorry, sweetheart.
- I know how much you love Mr. Bear but these kinda things happen when you have a dog.
- I have no dog.
- Mr. Kiner, you’re gonna love what our boys came up with.
- Gentlemen.
- Mr. Kiner, as you know
- today’s denture wearers are more alive more active, if you will, than ever before.
- Our campaign shows that thanks to Perma Teeth
- wearing dentures doesn’t mean the party’s over.
- Big Joe?
- Picture, if you will, sir a dance floor full of happy, smiling denture wearers
- represented by the vivacious Mrs. Ferguson.
- They’re all swinging to the sound of a big band.
- As we pan their happy, smiling faces
- with teeth firmly in place, we hear..
- ♪ When you’re smilin’ ♪ ♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪ ♪ Ooh when you’re smilin’ ♪ ♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪
- ♪ The whole world is smilin’ with you ♪
- ♪ When you’re laughin’ ♪ ♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪ ♪ Oh when you’re chucklin’ ♪ ♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪
- ♪ The sun it is a-come shinin’ through ♪
- ♪ So keep on smilin’ ♪ ♪ ‘Cause when you’re smilin’ ♪
- ♪ The whole world smiles with ♪
- ♪ You ♪ ♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪♪
- Perma Teeth. Take a bite out of life.
- It’s a very nice presentation.
- It is, of course, the safe approach.
- You’re always safe with safe.
- Unless you’re too safe.
- Well, sir, if I may be so bold we feel that this concept is the best way to go.
- Well, thank you, gentlemen. I’ll think it over.
- Mr. Kiner, sir, before you leave
- we’d like you to consider going a whole other way.
- The concept, sir, is comedy.
- It’s more exciting, and it’s definitely unexpected.
- Definitely unexpected.
- We think you’re gonna love it, sir.
- – Uh, don’t we? – We better.
- Now, sir, we’d like to show you a commercial that says wearing dentures can be fun.
- – Ready, Jess? – Oh, sure.
- I’ll just go sit on the couch and look confused.
- Perfect.
- Now, sir, we take you to a hockey game.
- Ay, chihuahua.
- Defending the net is world-famous hockey goalie
- and denture wearer, Guy Le Dome.
- Hello, I am Guy Le Dome.
- You know, for years, I thought that the protective mask was for sissy boys.
- Then one day, I stopped a puck with my mouth.
- Oh! That hurt.
- Then I had to use my teeth for gravel in my fish tank.
- So then I bought some, how you say, uh phony-baloney teeth.
- Dentures.
- Merci beaucoup.
- Now I keep my dentures in place with Perma Teeth.
- When you have to bite Wayne Gretzky
- You swine.
- It’s no time to find your choppers laying by the blue line.
- So use Perma Teeth and take a bite out of life
- or Wayne Gretzky.
- Well, it’s twisted, it’s off-center.
- It’s exactly what I’m looking for. Let’s do it.
- – Great! – Terrific. Nice work.
- Yes!
- Yes.
- Oh, Joey, I am so proud of you.
- I never would’ve had the guts to do this if it wasn’t for you.
- Well, partner, looks like you and I got some work to do.
- I think you and Stace can handle this one.
- Jess, are you mad just ‘cause they liked my idea more than they liked yours?
- You had this whole thing planned out, didn’t you? That’s not your regular underwear.
- I was prepared in case we needed it. And it’s a good thing I was.
- You know, ever since you’ve hooked up with Yoko over here..
- …you’ve changed, and not for the better.
- Her name is Stacey, and leave her out of this.
- I didn’t mean to cause trouble.
- – Well, you did. – No she didn’t.
- – Stop blaming this on Stacey. – Fine, then I blame it on you.
- – Jess– – Joey.. I don’t think we should see each other anymore.
- I don’t wanna be responsible for breaking your partnership.
- Oh, it’s a little late for that, babe.
- – Come on, Jess. – Joey..
- You guys have been together for years. We just met.
- Work things out with Jesse.
- I’m sorry.
- Stacey.
- Don’t worry, Steph, the patient is in good hands. I haven’t lost a bear yet.
- Deej, if you make him better I swear I’ll never read your diary again.
- – You read my diary? – Uh..
- Not anymore.
- – What’s up, doc. – Great, my nurse is here.
- Say, ah.
- Now get a lollipop.
- This is all very cute.
- Now, can we get on with the operation?
- What are you doing in here, looking for dessert? Out, out, out!
- She needs a nap.
- Dad, tell Comet to stay out of my room.
- Comet, stay out of her room.
- Your best friend’s a hockey puck.
- Woo-hoo, problems everywhere. I live for this stuff.
- Okay, Jess, spill your guts.
- Joey agreed not to pitch his dumb idea, and he did it anyway.
- He stabbed me right in the back right in front of my face.
- Just like Comet.
- Alright, I think I want everybody to sit down right now.
- It’s time for a little father-daughter brother-in-law talk.
- – Joey needs the talk. – So does Comet.
- I think the two of you should try putting yourselves in the other person’s shoes.
- Or paws.
- This is very simple.
- Friends deserve a fair hearing and valuables should always be kept out of reach.
- So, Stephanie, next time Comet has an idea you have to hear him out.
- And, Jessy, if you just leave your advertising laying around the house there’s a good chance Joey’s gonna chew it up.
- You guys understand?
- I’m sorry, I’m a little confused. This is my first double lecture.
- Mr. Bear is all better.
- Mr. Bear. You’re okay!
- He was very brave. The smile never left his face.
- Deej, you saved his life. You’re the best big sister ever.
- Hey, what about me?
- You were a very good nurse.
- I give myself a lollipop.
- I’m gonna go find Comet and tell him I forgive him.
- Then I’m gonna teach him the difference between food and friends.
- Come on, Michelle, let’s go write up her bill.
- – See how nice that worked out? – Yeah.
- Now if we could only stuff Joey, I’d be happy.
- I can’t believe that he said I’m bossy. Danny, am I bossy?
- Well, Jess, you do like to get your own way.
- – What you saying? – You’re bossy.
- Get out.
- I’m sorry. Don’t..
- I guess I am a little bossy, I don’t know.
- Alright, that’s it. From now on, I’m not gonna be bossy.
- Look at this, I’m bossing myself around.
- What do I do?
- Jess, let me tell you a little story about a headstrong young boy named Danny.
- He was bright as a new penny–
- I’ll figure this one out by myself.
- Joey, can I see you upstairs, please?
- I didn’t hear you knock.
- You don’t have a door.
- Come upstairs, please.
- Forget it, Jess. I’m not comin’ upstairs just ‘cause you asked me to come upstairs.
- Alright, look you, I came upstairs to tell you that you can’t tell me to come upstairs.
- Joey, I’m sorry for being bossy, and I want you to forgive me.
- [chuckles] Because you want me to forgive you I should just forgive you, huh?
- Yeah, well, dream on.
- Your comedy angle was a good idea.
- Yeah, well, listen, sport, it was a good idea the first time I told you. It was a good idea the second time I told you.
- And it’s still a good idea even though you think it’s a good idea!
- There, you happy now? You got me yellin’!
- I never yell, but now that I’m yellin’ I’m starting to like it!
- Hi, Joey.
- Stacey. What are you doin’ here?
- Well, Jesse called me and apologized and he asked me to come over and work things out.
- He thinks we’re good for each other. So do I.
- Thanks, Jess.
- I don’t want you guys to break up, because we had a problem.
- Joey, I’m-I’m sorry for not listening to your ideas.
- And I’m sorry for springing that “Guy Le Dome” bit on you.
- Hey, they bought it. You stuck to your guns, and it paid off.
- – I gotta admit, it felt great. – Well, you keep it up.
- Now, I want you to stand up for what you believe in.
- And from now on I’m gonna start listenin’ to you and be more open to compromise.
- See, that’s why we make a great team. We bring out the best in each other.
- Well, we do have a pretty cool combo platter going, don’t we?
- [imitating Sammy] Because you got that comedy thing grooving, man.
- [imitating Sammy] Hey, my man, I dig that music vibe.
- Well, let me tell you, you are one fabulous cat. And I ain’t talking about Garfield, babe.
- Give me a high five with a low back side.
- Comin’ at you. Right behind you.
- Joseph, go give her a kiss right now.
- Jess, what did we just talk about? Don’t–
- Joey, listen to him this time.
- Ay, chihuahua, babe.
- Oh, yeah.
- 人をどならせて満足か？
- もっと どなるぞ いい気分だから
- ジョーイ
- ステイシー どうした？
- ジェシーに仲直りを 頼まれたの
- “君らはお似合いだ”って 私もそう思う
- ありがと
- 俺のせいで別れちゃ困る
- お前の案を却下してごめん
- 僕も勝手なマネした
- あれは成功さ お客が喜んだ
- うれしかったよ いいと思う意見は押し通せ
- いいと思う意見は押し通せ
- 今後は話を聞くし 譲ることも覚えるよ
- お互い 磨き合って 名コンビでいこう
- こんなカッコいい コンビはないぜ
- お前の笑いは 超一級品だからな
- 君の音楽にだって 魂を感じるよ
- お前は すごいやつ(キャット)だよ ガーフィールドじゃないけど
- じゃ 例のあれでシメるか
- キメのポーズも忘れるな
- じゃ 彼女にキスしろ
- また命令して…
- 命令をきいて
- ワオ チワワだぜ
- やるねえ
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