- Look at our little buckaroos.
- Hey, Butch, Sundance, you guys better be careful or you’re gonna get those saddle-sores.
- – Okay, Jesse. – Okay, Jesse.
- Jesse, what Jesse? Wait, what happened to daddy? Since when are we on a first-name basis over here?
- Oh, Jess, don’t take it personally.
- It’s just a phase kids go through when they realize their parents have names.
- It’s kinda cute, right, boys?
- Right, Becky.
- Hey, that’s mommy.
- – Mom for short. – I thought it was cute.
- It was cute when they did it to you.
- Ride, cowboy.
- ♪ Whatever happened to predictability ♪
- Prepare to be amazed. Arise, oh, ten of hearts.
- Not even close.
- Well, you see that’s the amazing part of the trick.
- I changed the ten of hearts into the four of clubs.
- Steph, you got to teach me that trick.
- Guys, somebody stole my bike.
- – What? – What?
- – Your bike got stolen? – It’s okay.
- I’m on the case. Ye-Yes, officer. Yes, it’s pink and has a cute little basket
- on the front, right, and it’s got a li’l,
- a little frilly tassels comin’ out of the handlebars.
- No, it’s not mine. It’s my daughter’s.
- Oh, okay. Thank you very much.
- – What’s going on? – Nothing yet.
- We should offer a reward.
- How about a million dollars?
- Sweetheart, a million dollars is a lot for a bike.
- Dad, it has a basket.
- I think we’d better go look for it. Uh, Steph, DJ, you guys check the schoolyard.
- I’m gonna get on my bike and check the bike paths.
- And, uh, I’ll check all the-the video arcades and all the fast-food joints.
- That’s a good idea. That’s where the kids hang out.
- Well, I was going there anyway.
- Come on, Michelle, you can ride with me. Let’s hit it.
- Rest easy, everyone. Your neighborhood crime-catchers are on the case.
- I believe you know Mrs. Caruthers our fearless leader.
- Hi.
- At ease, citizens. Deputy Gibler and I just picked up a 6-14 on the police scanner.
- For you civilians, that’s a bicycle theft.
- Now, I’m going to need a little bit of information. Your name?
- Gibbler, you know my name.
- This will be a whole lot easier if you’ll just cooperate.
- Now, do you wear a hairpiece?
- What does that have to do with a stolen bike?
- Nothing, I’ve just always been curious.
- Joey, did you see anything suspicious when you went out for the paper this morning?
- No, nothing unusual, just..
- How’d you know I went out for the paper this morning?
- Oh, part of my job. You know, keeping an eye on the neighborhood.
- Which includes watching you stride to the curb wearing those bun-hugging pajamas.
- Well, it’s-it’s nice to know you’re watching. Every move I make.
- (Michelle) ‘Uncle Jesse, why do people steal things?’
- (Jesse) ‘I don’t know, munchkin.’
- ‘But I know how you feel.’ ‘When I was young, I had something’ ‘very dear to me stolen.’
- Your bike?
- No, my comb, Mr. Part.
- Ah, it was beautiful. Unbreakable teeth, leather carrying-case.
- I can’t believe it.
- Yeah, I couldn’t either, but you know, after a few years
- I dunno you-you rebuild, really, your life.
- No, no. Over there, that kid has my bike.
- (Jesse) ‘Let’s nail him.’
- Hold it there, son. I want to talk to you about this bike.
- Be careful, Uncle Jesse. That’s David Schultz.
- He’s a big bully.
- Hey, look, it’s Toothless Tanner.
- You stole my bike. You’re dog food, mister.
- What are you talking about? This is my sister’s. Mine’s got a flat.
- Look, uh, why don’t you just give us the bike and we won’t press charges.
- Like I’m scared.
- Come on, what, do you want to end up in the slammer?
- Give Michelle back what’s hers and we’ll pretend like this whole thing never happened.
- And I’ll pretend I give two hoots.
- Davey, Davey, Davey.
- I, uh, I-I know what you’re going for here.
- Because I was just like you. You know, when I was a kid I was always tryin’ to be the tough guy, you know–
- Is this story long or just boring?
- Give me the bike!
- Dream on.
- Now, if you’re finished wasting my time I have a trumpet lesson.
- and don’t even think about messing with this lock! It’s solid steel!
- I told you he was tough.
- Yep.
- But not too bright.
- Wow. Thanks, Uncle Jesse.
- Come on, let’s get out of here fast.
- Are we in trouble?
- No, it’s that trumpet. It’s torture.
- Hey, everybody Uncle Jesse got my bike back.
- Well, it’s no big deal All I did was outwit a 9-year-old.
- It’s not like he was “Jeopardy” material or any..
- What the heck is that?
- Michelle’s bike. What the heck is that?
- Hey, guys.
- Guess who found Michelle’s..
- …bike?
- Seems to be the question of the day.
- Wow, I’ve got three bikes!
- No, honey, not all of them are yours.
- One of them is but which one?
- I like this one. It looks brand new.
- Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t ask which one you liked the best. I asked you which one is yours.
- Let’s see. Mine has a Kermit sticker on the basket.
- Well, would you settle for a Care Bear on the chain-guard?
- None of these bikes are mine. Mine’s still stolen.
- And so are all these.
- And we’re the stealers.
- We’re all going to the slammer.
- Daddy, if you have a stomach ache could you stay home from the slammer?
- Sweetheart, we’re not going to the slammer. We’re just going to return these bikes to their rightful owners.
- So, everybody gets their bike back except me? That’s fair.
- How am I supposed to return this? I stole it off a kid named Davey.
- All I know about him is I should have stolen his trumpet too.
- I found mine leanin’ against the library.
- It’s such a horrible thing, a little girl goes in checks out “Curious George” comes out, her bike’s gone.
- Could turn a kid off to reading forever.
- I grabbed mine off the back of a pickup.
- Oh, great, there’s a card in it.
- “Happy birthday, Lisa. Love, mom and dad.”
- Joey, see who that is. Check through the window.
- It’s that crime-catcher lady. Mrs. Caruthers. I’m getting my buns out of here.
- Joey, no, no, no, take-take the bikes. – Get ‘em outta here. – Alright, okay.
- Hurry.
- 10-4, out.
- Mr. Tanner, three more bikes have been stolen. We’re going to set up our command post in your house.
- No, no, no, that’s a bad idea. No, we’re-we’re not zoned for a command post here.
- Oh, horse feathers, this is the center of the crime wave. I’m surprised you haven’t seen anything.
- Seen anything? No, why would I have seen something? Why, did somebody say they saw me see something.
- No, no, no, because, for example there-there’s nothing going on in-in my kitchen?
- Think she’s suspicious?
- Why would she be? All Danny’s doing is making a full confession.
- Okay, don’t panic. All we have to do is just remain cool.
- Guys?
- Sorry.
- I put the boys down for a nap I must have conked out myself.
- Hey, what did you guys do rip off a bike store? – Hey, hey, hey. – Shh, shh, shh.
- I stole mine off a kid and he stole his off a truck.
- – Yeah. – What?
- Open up. It’s crime-catchers, official business.
- That’s Gibbler. Hide the bikes.
- Uh, listen, you saw nothing and you heard nothing.
- I know nothing.
- That’s my girl.
- Didn’t we used to have a rule around here “No bikes in the house”?
- Thank you, Mrs. Good hair. Alright, let’s get set up.
- You can’t catch a criminal without the right equipment. Fax machine.
- Cell phone. Map of crime sector. Police scanner.
- Kimmy, what is this, the Batcave?
- No, It’s your basic crime-catchers mobile-headquarters kit.
- Do you realize that four bikes have been stolen in our neighborhood.
- Really? I would have guessed three.
- Hi, Becky.
- Oh, Nicky, call me mommy. You didn’t give me a flower on Becky’s day.
- I see bikes.
- Did he just say “I see bikes?”
- I see bikes?
- No, of course not, he said
- “I see bites.”
- Ha, those mosquitoes are just out of control, huh?
- Well, I got to get some Calamine lotion, Ta ta.
- (Danny) ‘Ma’am, you can’t go in there.’
- Move ‘em! Move ‘em! Move..
- ♪ Move ‘em on up ♪ ♪ To the eastside ♪ ♪ To a deluxe apartment in the sky ♪♪
- Well, I miss The Jefferson’s, don’t you? How many Lionels were there? Do you remember?
- One mystery at a time, Mr. Tanner.
- Hey, how’s that command post coming, Deputy Gibbler?
- We’re cookin’, chief.
- Hey, guys, guys, check this out three other pink bikes got swiped.
- That’s why we’re here, small fry.
- What a comfort, Slim Jim.
- Hey, Mr. Tanner, look at this. Little Ruthy Bell went in to get her very first library card. Some goon nabbed her bike.
- Says here, “She’s lost her zest for reading.”
- She’s zestless?
- Ya, and look at this guy who took The Schultz’ bike.
- He looks like Uncle–
- Uncle Seymour, yes, that looks exactly like
- Uncle Seymour, but, uh, you know
- and-and if he weren’t a priest in Athens he would be a suspect, yes, he would.
- Get these up to Uncle Seymour right away.
- – Uncle Who? – Just do it.
- Where are they?
- Oh, the flyers? Oh, you just missed them.
- Alright, okay, uh, how ‘bout this?
- – Alright. – We dismantle the bikes. We put all the parts down our pants
- and we just walk right past everyone downstairs.
- Okay, alright, that’s not bad, but here’s a little twist.
- We don’t touch the bikes. We don’t touch our pants and you get over there and shut up until Groundhog day.
- What are these bikes doing here?
- You’re Uncle Seymour.
- I thought he was in Greece.
- Let me see that.
- It doesn’t look anything like me. The sideburns are totally unbalanced.
- Well, I’m going to pack.
- Where you goin’?
- The slammer.
- These, uh, posters have addresses on them.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, they do, you know what, this is perfect. You know, we’ll take all the bikes back to these addresses.
- We’ll get everything back to normal around here, okay. Everybody grab a bike.
- – Let’s go. – Wait. The crime-catchers are in the kitchen.
- Alright, we’ll go out the front door.
- Come on, move it.
- Hey, uh, how come you don’t have a bike?
- ‘Cause I’m carrying the flyers. – Move, move, move. – Oh.
- – Come on, let’s go. – Hurry, hurry, hurry.
- So, uh, Jesse, do you think we can pull this off?
- Absolutely.
- Not. Alright, Joey, say, ah.
- – Why? – Perfect.
- Get back, go, back.
- Shh.
- Yeah, what do you want..
- …sir?
- I’m Leonard Schultz, Davey’s father.
- I’m looking for some guy named Jesse. He took my kid’s bike.
- He looks exactly like you.
- Oh, no, no, no, this doesn’t look anything like me.
- Look, sideburns, uneven.
- Mine, totally even, see how that works?
- – Sorry. – Yeah, okay, it’s alright.
- So, who are you, anyway?
- I am, uh, I’m Joey.
- Well, Joey, I’m going to sit right over here
- and wait for this Jesse punk to show up.
- There’s a couple of things I want to impress upon him.
- Oh, yeah? Like, uh, like what?
- Like my left fist and my right.
- Hey.
- Uh, uh, Danny.
- Danny, Danny. Hi, it’s me, your old pal, Joey.
- Pardonnez-moi?
- Hey, let me explain. This is, this here is Leonard Schultz. He’s Davey’s father.
- And for some whacky reason he seems to think that Jesse’s stolen his kid’s bike
- and Jesse’s nowhere to be found, thank God
- because, um, Leonard here has a bone to pick with him
- and-and we all know how painful
- bone-picking can be.
- Joey.
- – Yeah. – Yes.
- Oh, she was calling for you wasn’t she, Joey?
- Yes, she was, Danny.
- Could I play? I want to be…DJ.
- Uh, no , no, look, no, time for playing now. This is-this is Leonard Schultz, Davey’s father.
- – Davey’s father? – Hm-hmm.
- Uh, got to go.
- Wait, who’s Davey?
- Somebody with a really big dad.
- Okay, we’ve got to get Davey’s bike back before his dad smushes Uncle Jesse.
- You should see this guy, phew. There’ll be nothing left but a puddle of mousse.
- So, how do we get the bikes outta here?
- I’ve got a plan.
- Okay, but I’m not stuffing bike parts down my pants.
- For the hundredth time, I don’t know anything.
- – I don’t believe you. – It’s the truth, I tell you!
- You mean to tell me that Joey’s never mentioned me I mean, not even in passing or maybe at lunch?
- Oh, my scanner!
- Hey, everybody. Uh, Stephanie has a card trick she wants to show you all. I wish I could stay to see it.
- Steph, this is not a good time.
- Trust me, dad, it is.
- Okay, prepare to be amazed.
- Kimmy, pick a card, memorize it ‘and put it back in the deck.’
- Five of clubs, five of clubs.
- Okay, now, watch me shuffle.
- See me shuffling, shuffle, shuffle. ‘The magic shuffle.’
- Now, notice, that at no time do my fingers leave my hands.
- Shuffling, look– We don’t have time for this poppycock!
- Nonsense! There’s always time for poppycock.
- Just play, uh, watch the trick, it’s an excellent trick.
- – Steph, go, go, go. – Okay, Kimmy..
- Is this your card?
- No.
- Is this your card?
- No.
- ‘Is this your card?’
- Oh! Excellent trick, excellent trick! That was fabulous!
- Well, she didn’t even find my card.
- Hey, Mr. Tanner.
- Look, I hope you weren’t too attached to that big, ceramic planter.
- Blondie, that was the worst card trick I ever saw.
- Okay, Kimmy, if you would please check your pockets.
- All I have here is some gum.
- Thank you and goodnight.
- Oh, bravo, excellent trick.
- So, that’s why I retired from the ring.
- Wow. You quit boxing ‘cause it wasn’t violent enough.
- Fascinating story, huh, Joey?
- Yeah, Danny, I’m.. …shaking with fascination.
- Hey, would somebody tell me what’s going on with all the–
- Miss Donaldson.
- – Leonard. – Yeah.
- How do you two know each other?
- Leonard’s my butcher. You should see what this guy can do with a cleaver.
- So, this is where you live? I always wanted to meet your husband.
- Uh, what was his name?
- Oh, Joey.
- Uh, yeah, that’s right, Joey.
- Joey, that’s my husband.
- This is my husband.
- I thought that was Danny?
- Ah, you didn’t let me finish. This is my husband’s best friend, Danny.
- And this is my husband, Joey?
- Right, hug, hug.
- Ah, she knows.
- I’m still Becky, right? Yeah, yeah.
- Jesse, Jesse.
- Hey, that kid’s calling you Jesse.
- Uh, no, it’s just-it’s just a crazy little phase he’s going through.
- It’s-It’s nutty, you know. Last week, he was calling everyone Frankie.
- Now, young man, you know my name isn’t Jesse.
- Jesse, I love you.
- Leonard, I’m not going to lie in front of my kid.
- I’m Jesse.
- Not for long.
- What’s going on in here?
- This guy stole my kid’s bike.
- No, no, no, this whole thing is big misunderstanding. The bikes are upstairs.
- Why didn’t you say so?
- ‘Cause I couldn’t breathe.
- Uh, Jess, um.. The bikes aren’t upstairs.
- – Goin’ up. – No, no, no.
- I meant that right now, they’re being, they’re being returned to their rightful owners right now.
- Oh, uh, DJ, Steve this is Leonard Schultz. He is looking for his kid’s bike.
- Bike?
- Uh, uh, DJ, do you know anything about a-a bike?
- Uh, I used to have a bike.
- Lift off.
- People, attention! The bikes are back.
- Oh, thank God.
- It just came in on the scanner. All the bikes have been returned to their owners.
- See, Leonard? No harm done.
- Yeah, just a few ribs broken.
- Sorry, buddy.
- Yeah, yeah, that’s okay, Leonard.
- Leonard, Leonard, the hair. I know it’s not your thing, but..
- Let’s mark this “Case closed.”
- Wait a minute, wait a minute. The case isn’t closed.
- My bike’s still stolen.
- ‘No, it isn’t.’
- My Kermit sticker. This is my bike.
- You left it at my house last week, remember?
- It was raining cats and dogs. Mother gave you a ride home.
- Oh, yeah. I forgot.
- My bike’s been at your house, the whole time. Isn’t that funny?
- Oh, yeah, funny isn’t the word for it.
- Okay, since we caused everybody so much trouble I’m taking everyone out for frozen yogurt.
- – Alright. – Alright.
- With sprinkles?
- You got it, big guy.
- Alright, let’s go.
- Hey, Deej, could you take Nicky while I go upstairs and get Alex.
- – Uh, Joey. – Hey. Now that this is all over. I think you should be de-briefed.
- You know, I really don.. I don’t like the sound of that.
- Crazy day, huh, Michelle?
- Yeah, I’m sorry I made everybody look for my bike.
- Oh, that’s okay, sweetheart. We did it ‘cause we love you.
- Next time, I’ll try to remember where I put my stuff.
- Very good.
- Now, come on, let’s go get some ice cream.
- Hey, where’s my jacket? It was right there!
- Somebody stole it.
- Michelle.
- Oh, never mind.
- 彼はダニーだ
- 続きがあるの この人は主人の親友ダニー
- 主人のジョーイ？
- おいで
- ほらね
- 私はベッキー？
- ジェシー
- 今 ジェシーって呼んだよな
- いや やたらと同じ名を 呼びたがる時期で
- 先週は誰を見ても “フランキー”
- こら パパは ジェシーじゃないだろ
- ジェシー だいすき
- 子供の前で ウソはつけねえな
- 俺がジェシーだ
- ぶちのめす
- どうした？
- 自転車ドロボーだ
- 誤解だ 自転車は２階にある
- それを早く言え
- 息できなくて
- ジェシー ２階に自転車はない
- やり直しだ いや そうじゃなくて 今 持ち主に返しに行ってる
- いや そうじゃなくて 今 持ち主に返しに行ってる
- よかった シュルツさんが 自転車を捜してる
- 自転車？
- ＤＪ 自転車のこと 何か知ってる？
- 前は１台 持ってた
- 好きにして
- 皆さん 自転車が見つかりました
- 助かった
- 無線で “持ち主に全部 戻った”って
- 被害はなし
- あばら骨２～３本だけ
- 悪かったな
- いいよ 気にすんな
- 髪はダメ あんたとは違う
- これにて一件落着
- 待ってよ まだ終わってない
- あたしの自転車は？
- ここにあるよ
- カーミットのステッカー あたしの自転車だ！
- 先週 僕の家に 置いてったでしょ
- どしゃ降りで ママが車で送った
- そっか 忘れてた
- あんたの家にあったんだ 笑えるね
- とても笑えないぞ
- 迷惑かけたから みんなにアイスおごるよ
- やった！
- トッピングは？
- 何でも
- じゃ 行こう
- ＤＪ 見てて アレックスを連れてくる
- 事件も解決したことだし お尻チェックさせて
- それは遠慮しとく
- 今日は参ったな
- ごめんね 自転車 捜させちゃって
- 平気だよ みんな お前を愛してるから
- 自分の置いた物は覚えとく
- それでいい
- アイス食いに行こう
- あたしの上着がない ここに置いたのに
- 誰かが盗んだんだ
- それは？
- おっと ごめん
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